Episode #325: How to Find Your Dream Life
TAYLOR BRADFORD: You are listening to episode number 325 of the Boss Girl Creative podcast. Today I’m talking about how to find your dream life. On to the episode.
Hello, and welcome to Episode 325. I’m your host, Taylor Bradford. Thank you so much for tuning in to today’s episode. Quick apologies for the way I sound. I’ve got something going on with my throat right now, and I thought it was allergies, but it may be a little bit more than just allergies as I’ve been battling this for several days at this point, and it’s not progressing in any direction other than my throat. So I sound a little odd, that is why.
So today’s episode is all about how to find your dream life. And I was on Instagram last week or week before last, and I saw Suzy Holman asked a question about dreams as she posts a little sticker in her Instagram stories and asked people to say what their dreams were or what was holding them back from their dreams. And it got me to thinking like, how do we even know what our dreams are? Or what if we don’t know what our dreams are? Because I don’t know that I know what my dreams are right now. I feel like I’ve gotten myself to a place in life, my husband and I, and it’s like, wow, I didn’t know we could do that, or I didn’t know that thing was possible. And some of it, I think, has to do with not knowing what our dreams are – like what they consist of – but like how do we even find our dream life, which is what I want to talk about today. And I want to talk about – because this also sparked a conversation between me and a friend – is speaking your dream life into existence. Speaking your dreams out loud. Like if we just hold our goals and dreams inside and don’t ever speak of them, how are we actually ever going to crush them or obtain them or get to them?
But it comes back down to what if you don’t know what your dreams are? Or what if you don’t know what your next dreams are? Maybe I should put that qualifier in there. I in my own life, I am blown away by what my husband and I have accomplished in my 40 years of life and in his 43 years of life. For the last 18 and a half years, we have had a roller coaster of ups and downs, and at the end of the day, when we look back at what we’ve accomplished, I am blown away. Like it’s crazy when you put your mind to something what you can actually accomplish.
So, way back, I think this was 2018 if I’m not mistaken, maybe 2019 – everything rolls together now. Do you have that problem? It’s all rolling together – when I hosted my very first Boss Girls Who Brunch event, I talked about the importance of knowing your why and what that exploration looked like. I was also working through the book You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero. I’m gonna link it in the show notes because I highly recommend this book. And at the end of the chapter titled The Hollering of Your Heart, she asked you to write a fantasy Day in the Life. She wants you to answer, to meditate, to ponder what a typical day in your life would look like, as the richest, happiest, and most successful version of yourself. I actually sat down and wrote something out, but I honestly don’t think I was being very truthful with myself. Maybe at the time, I thought but looking back and looking at what I wrote. Now I see that maybe I wasn’t because of what has since happened. Loss of friendships, the house-building nightmare that we’re still struggling through. Yes, legitimately, I still don’t have a house, and we have been delayed since August of – I guess technically, it was September when we got shut down – September of 2020. We’ve still been delayed. I have no house. I have no nothing. I have piers in the ground, and I had formed boards up. Next step was going to be plumbing, but my neighbors shut us down, and we’ve been stopped since. Loss of my day job – that happened at the end of last year, and now that I think about what I wrote, I don’t know even when I was writing it if I was really being truthful about what I thought my fantasy dream life would look like. Maybe even then, I allowed self-doubt and fear to write the narration of what that fantasy life looked like instead of truly writing a dream life – a fantasy dream life.
This discovery kind of led me down an even bigger rabbit hole of what are my dreams? Do I even know? Yes, we’ve had goals. Yes, we’ve conquered the goals. And I do still have goals. Like, there is a wedding venue on my horizon. I will get there, and it may be sooner than I anticipated, which makes it even more exciting that it’s – the possibility is legitimately right there. But what are my dreams? To me, that just sounds like a goal. And maybe there is no distinction between goal and dream. So do I even have any dreams? Have you felt this way? That you don’t know what your dreams are, or you don’t know how to articulate them? Or maybe you feel like me that you’re not deserving of a dream? So if we don’t know what to dream, how are we even supposed to find it? How are we even supposed to write a fantasy version of the day in our life?
I am a big believer that God or the universe is the guiding light behind all the things that we do and that we experience. I do believe that when one door shuts, another one opens, even if the ones that shut are super hard to get through or get over that it shut. I do believe that if we don’t actively talk about what we want in life and for ourselves, that it will just be that much harder to get, or we just won’t even get it. So let’s work on finding our dreams.
So I want you to start by asking yourself these types of questions. What are your hobbies? What are your talents? What are your passions? When have you been the happiest, and expand on why you were at your happiest? What inspires you to get out of bed every day? What inspires you to take action? What motivates you to do things? What hurdles or obstacles have you overcome and were triumphant? What do you think your purpose is? Who are you inspired by? What are you grateful for? How can you make yourself better? How can you make the world better? What do you want your days to consist of? What do you want to achieve? What life would you choose? If you could wave a magic wand and have every skill that you would need? What adventures intrigue you? What activities are you inspired to do? What sparks your curiosity?
Now that you’ve pondered all of these questions, and hopefully, you’ve journaled through some of those answers, let’s go back to writing the fantasy day in your life. So I want you to go back and answer what Jen Sincero asks you in that chapter. What would a typical day in your life as the richest, happiest, and most successful version of yourself look like? Once you’ve done that, write down the five strongest emotions you feel when you read it back to yourself. And then, from there, boil all of that down to five to 10 sentences into a mantra that I want you to read to yourself every single night before you go to bed and feel it. That’s important.
If you need help with writing your fantasy Day in the Life, if you’re not quite there yet, I want you to start the very beginning of waking up. What does your bedroom look like? What does your bed feel like? What is on your walls? What did you sleep in? What is the first thing you do as you start to wake up and get ready for the day? Describe your morning routine. Describe the house you were in. Describe the beverage that you drink first. Describe the clothes you wear to get ready and describe what you pick out to wear for the day. What will your day be filled with? Who will you see? What will you do? Where will you go? What appointments do you have? Keep working through all the minute details in your day. Describe the people. Describe the kids if there are some. Describe your spouse if there is one. Describe your friends, the workers, and employees or your co-workers. Describe your mealtimes. Describe your self-care times. Describe the vehicle you drive or the transportation that you take. What activities are you participating in throughout the day? What is your bank account look like? How much money is in there? What does the end of your day look like? When you get into bed at the end of the day, what are you grateful for?
I hope this jump starts you to finding your dream life. I think it starts with speaking it out loud. Exploring what a fantasy day looks like. I don’t think we have to know all of the details all the time. I truly believe we have to trust that the how will just happen and that we can’t focus on the how. Otherwise, we’ll just trip over all the details that don’t make a hill of beans. Trust that it’s on its way to you and begin taking action towards what you crave. Your fantasy Day in the Life is what you should be craving out of your current life. This is how you dream. This is how you figure out your dream life. This is what propels you to be able to take action as to what’s next. Once you know what dream life you want, now you’re able to take a step back and look at your current world, the current situation, and start making an action plan on getting there. And trust the process of getting there. Don’t worry about the how. The how doesn’t matter; you have no control over the how. Just know and trust that it will be.
So spend time in this fantasy dream life and get it written down. Figure it out. What do you want? What are your dreams? What does it look like from your day in and day out? And then once you do all of that, share it with somebody, share your dreams, speak them out loud. Let somebody else in on your innermost desires with the life you want to actually be living because you get to create it. This is your life, after all, and if you know anything about me and this podcast, you know that this is your empire. These are your rules. You get to do this how you want to. But if you don’t dream, you won’t make it happen. So it’s time to get to dreaming. It’s time to get to that place where you can write down a fantasy day in your life as the richest, happiest, and most successful version of yourself. Start dreaming, friend.
Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode. Again, I appreciate you guys so much. I do have an ebook coming. I don’t know when it will come out, but you will be the first to know about it. I promise. Until next time, I hope you have a great rest of your week.