Episode #307: The Importance of Choosing You
TAYLOR BRADFORD: You’re listening to episode number 307 of the Boss Girl Creative podcast. Today I’m talking about the importance of choosing you. On to the episode.
Welcome to the latest episode of the Boss Girl Creative podcast. I’m your host, Taylor Bradford. I’m excited that you’re here and that you chose to press play, because today is all about choosing you and why that’s important, especially in business. And yeah, let’s get on with it. So if you missed out on getting yourself into the Inner Circle membership, the doors are closed, but you can put yourself on the waitlist by going to bossgirlcreative.com/InnerCircle and add yourself onto the waitlist. The doors will reopen in early August. August 1 to be exact. And yeah, I promise you, you don’t want to miss out the next go around. And if you did join during open membership, please check your spam folders as I’m waiting to get a couple more people into the membership. But I believe my emails are going to spam, so definitely check your spam. If you were somebody that joined the Inner Circle during open membership, I want to get you in there. And I believe my messages must be going into spam, which is really sad. I don’t want them to do that. I want to get you in to the mix. Into the fold. And yeah.
So today’s topic, choosing yourself and why that’s important, especially in your business is a prompt from starting the book, Girl on Fire, which is what the Inner Circle book club is currently reading. And you guys, I have been kind of on this self-discovery phase for myself. And if you can tell if you like go back and look at the last five or six episodes, you’re going to see that you’re going to be like, “oh my gosh,” and which is a good thing. You know, self-discovery is always a good thing. And when I start feeling lack or feeling that my fear is overtaking me or is bigger than me, then I start doing some inner reflection and trying to find out what I feel is missing. And so I appreciate what it kind of brings upon me. And I just finished reading The Soul Sourced Entrepreneur, which was a really great book, which I kind of mentioned in last week’s episode.
This week was really prompted by the manifesto that is inside Girl on Fire. So I want to go over this Manifesto and I want to go over the very first one, which is what sparked this episode. And it’s been things that I’ve been thinking about in my own self-reflection and my own, like, forward momentum or trying to be forward momentum. And it aligns, like, the moment I started reading this I was like, oh my gosh, these are the things that I say all the time. So Girl on Fire Manifesto. Number one she chooses herself. Number two, she is her own permission slip and she needs no approval. Number three, she views rejection as redirection. Four, she speaks kindly to herself and optimistically about her dreams. Five, she rejects the status quo. Six, she knows failure is a possibility, but she does it anyway. Seven, she knows generosity is a growth strategy. The more she gives, the more she gets. Number eight, she proudly celebrates her success. Number nine, she creates strong boundaries to protect her energy and peace. Number 10, she doesn’t want to reach everyone, she wants to reach someone. And number 11, she doesn’t want to play the game.
I say this all the time and I’ve been saying this since I started blogging, roll out your own red carpet. Keep your big girl panties pulled up high. And rolling out your own red carpet means you wait for nobody you choose yourself. And I know sometimes that is easier said than done because for whatever reason, we allow fear to take over and we need people to validate us. We need people to validate our ideas. We wait for that validation, whether that’s waiting for an email to come through and you checking your email a million times a day or it’s watching that latest Instagram post. Get likes and refreshing your feed through Instagram to see if you’ve got those likes. It’s playing the game, which is number 11. In her Manifesto, she doesn’t want to play the game, which I feel so incredibly strongly about. Doing something doing your business doing your life with so much intention and purpose, and not playing that game. Because business isn’t one size fits all, and it shouldn’t be, it’s okay to be a procrastinator. It’s okay to march to the beat of your own drum. It is Oh, okay to roll out your own red carpet, because that’s what you should be doing. Stop, I mean, full stop waiting, waiting for that validation. Because you are validated. You choose yourself and you choose to validate yourself. Nobody wants to wait on being validated. That feeling just sucks. It sucks waiting on people to like you. It sucks waiting on people to bind you stop waiting. Choose yourself. Put yourself first. Nobody knows your potential better than you know your own potential. So don’t wait. Stop waiting. She writes clear yourself of the need to be chosen and choose yourself. Full stop, choose yourself.
In the book, one of her spin cycle instructors poses a question during one of her workouts and says what happens when your dreams come true? And you don’t recognize them? What does happen? So let’s say you have a dream to do XYZ, whatever XYZ is, and you finally get XYZ. And then you realize you don’t recognize you’re even at your dream of XYZ. How would that even feel? What do you imagine that would feel like, what happens when your dreams come true, and you don’t even recognize them? She goes on to write your success as an entrepreneur in any business endeavor is entirely dependent on you. And I believe that whole heartedly, if you do not work for it, it will probably not happen. There’s like such a small minute chance of luck, that might be involved. But if we depend on that we won’t get very far. If we depend on that small minute chance, we aren’t going to get very far. That’s why we have to roll out our own red carpet, we have to do the work, we have to do the hustling wherever we can fit in the hustle. And I’m not saying work yourself to the bone. But sometimes sacrifice is needed in order to get to where we want to be. Sometimes that is reality. You need to believe in yourself. You need to have faith in yourself and make it happen.
She writes successful entrepreneurs don’t wait for their big break, they create it. And that’s so true. How many people do you see in the world of quote unquote, making it just randomly made it without working for it? You’ve got to promote yourself, on your social media platforms, wherever your audience is sitting, you’ve got to self-publish yourself. Instead of waiting for traditional publication. Amazon has made it really easy to self-publish, launch a product, launch a service launch a podcast, launch a YouTube, don’t wait for somebody to do it for you. Create your own events get up on a stage of your building. I want you to fearlessly put your art into the world and wait for nobody to do it for you roll out your own red carpet. She goes on to ask this question which is like, wow, do you ever notice the opportunities so many of us dream of our ones or someone else’s in charge?
Let me ask that again. Do you ever notice the opportunities so many of us dream of are ones where someone else is in charge. Why do we want that? Why do we want Somebody else in charge because it’s easy. It’s not pull back that curtain and see what’s really going on. What do you give up? What creative freedoms Do you lose? When someone else is in charge? We shouldn’t put our success into other people’s hands. Because when we do that we put other people in charge.
I want to read this section. It’s like a paragraph from her book. “What is it about being chosen that comforts us? Why do we wait to be selected and align with someone in perceived power? To feel like we’re suddenly good enough? And why do we assume those people we desperately want to choose us have any power anyway? It makes me want to reflect on why do we allow other people to make us find our worth? Why do we allow other people the power to change the direction of our dreams? Why do we allow other people to build the lives we actually want to be living? We shouldn’t allow any of that we should take charge we should retain ownership. So create that podcast you’ve been wanting to do. It’s hard work. Trust me. It’s hard work. I’m at Episode 307. This is a lot of work. Start the YouTube. That’s hard to ask me. I’m working on filming for episode nine right now. Launch that service, launch that product. I don’t care. If you have one audience member get it out there and start doing the work. Promote yourself. Self-publish yourself. Launch the thing already.
When I first started blogging back in 2008. And then I really like ramped it up in 2011. I did not think or feel about the scope of the world that might be watching until I launched this podcast. And if you listen to my canceled culture, podcast episode, you heard me share about being cancelled before I ever got started. And that moment, ripped this curtain away from my eyes and expose me to how big the world was. And I’m at Episode 307. I record in my closet of my home, it’s maybe a three-by-three space. Three by two. I’m surrounded by close craft room projects, craft supplies, notebooks, sweaters, I’m surrounded by stuff. This is my cocoon. I stare at a microphone, I stare at a computer screen GarageBand is recording this. I’m watching that go across. I’m in a cocoon. I don’t think about the world beyond this two by three closet. But that moment, before I ever published my first episode, pulled back that curtain so far, that it scared me out of my dreams, that it scared me from doing the work that it scared me to promote myself, because I didn’t want to attract more of that. Even though I didn’t attract it to begin with. There was definitely no attention of attracting that. I don’t like confrontation. I don’t like doing things that might get me in trouble somehow. It’s not my personality. I don’t think it’s anybody’s personality. But it’s for sure not my personality. I’m an enneagram one. Everything’s black and white. There’s very little gray, I don’t understand the gray. And so after that moment before I could even get started. After that moment, I was scared. And I’ve stayed scared for nearly the entire time of this podcast. Because I didn’t want to attract more of that. She says you’ve got to build a belief in yourself so strong, that someone’s opinion of you doesn’t become your reality. I allowed those humans opinion to be my reality for way too long. I didn’t launch a YouTube channel for that same exact reason.
But you know what? I finally found the courage and overcame my own fear and started my YouTube channel. I’ve got eight episodes that are published. I’ve got number nine coming out this Friday. I allowed people I didn’t know To hold me back. And I’m not proud of that. It’s taken me a lot of work to get over that. So I, I truly believe wholeheartedly when she says you’ve got to build a belief in yourself so strong, that someone’s opinion of you doesn’t become your reality. What do you think about this right now? What have you been waiting for permission to do in your business? What has been holding you back? What thing? What object what feeling has been holding you back? And you’ve been seeking permission to take that step forward? What have you been waiting to get permission to do in your business? And how has that actually served you? It didn’t serve me very well. For the first 200 and something episodes of this podcast. It didn’t serve me very well to hold back on starting a YouTube channel. It didn’t serve me well at all. It prevented me from going after my dreams. It put my destiny into somebody else’s hands. And I didn’t even know who that someone was. But I allowed it to control me, I allowed my fear to be stronger than the belief in myself.
How has waiting for that permission slip prevented you from moving forward? And what would change if you stopped waiting. If I said right now, you don’t need it from me, but I’m going to give it to you. I’m going to grant it to you. I’m going to gift it to you. Here’s your permission slip. You don’t need it for me though. But in case there’s weight to it, for whatever reason, here is your permission slip. Now, what’s going to change for you. I’m going to repeat that quote again. You’ve got to build a belief in yourself so strong that someone’s opinion of you doesn’t become your reality. I finally found that quote, which is what helped me finally launch my YouTube channel, which is what finally helped me talk about canceled culture and how I was cancelled before I ever got started. Build a belief in yourself so strong that someone’s dependent of you doesn’t become your reality. Stop waiting. You so got this. Roll out your own red carpet.
Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode. Again, get yourself on the waitlist for the Inner Circle membership. I promise you don’t want to miss out when the doors open in August. Get yourself on there so that you’re first to know when those doors open. Go to bossgirlcreative.com/InnerCircle. Until next week, I hope you have a great rest of your week.