Episode #306: Getting Good At Being You
TAYLOR BRADFORD: You are listening to episode number 306 of the Boss Girl Creative podcast. Today I’m talking about getting good at you. On to the episode.
Hey, welcome to Episode 306. I’m your host, Taylor Bradford, thank you so much for tuning in to today’s episode, which is all about getting good at you. Last week I talked about, you are cut out for this because you absolutely are cut out for this. This week, I’m talking about getting good at you, and getting comfortable in your own skin and what that means and why it’s so incredibly important. Because at the end of the day, you are the person that’s not replicatable in your business in your life, people flock to you because of that, that is a superpower. And we have to get good at being ourselves. And that’s what today’s episode is all about.
Before I dive in letting you know, the Inner Circle membership is now closed, the waiting list is back open. So if you want to be one of the first to know when the doors reopen in early August, you got to get on the list. bossgirlcreative.com/InnerCircle. I’m so incredibly grateful for those of you that joined the Inner Circle membership. If you have not seen the email communication from me, please go check your spam folders, I want to make sure that you are integrated into the community ASAP. And a few people haven’t responded to an email that I sent out, so I just want to make sure if you joined the Inner Circle when the doors were open, and you haven’t heard from me, go check your spam folders because I promise I did email and I want to make sure to get you into the group ASAP. Okay, yes, the doors are closed. I’m sorry you missed out. If you did miss out. But you can get on the waiting list and get in there in August. bossgirlcreative.com/InnerCircle.
All right, let’s dive in to getting good at you. Again, last week, talked about your cut out for this because I absolutely 100% believe that you are cut out for this. And this week, we’re talking about getting good at ourselves and why that’s important. And yeah, let’s just rip the band aid off because we’ve got to get good at being ourselves. So question I have for you. What do you make? So I’m going to give you some time to answer this. I actually literally want you to say this out loud. “Taylor, I make.” Now I need you to fill in the blank. “Taylor, I make” – oh wait. Wait, don’t fill in the blank. Actually. Hang on. Let me tell you, I’m actually going to tell you what you make. Yep, I’m good like that. I know what you make. You make decisions. Truth bomb, you make decisions. Yes, I know that you have a craft or a skill or a service or an offering, but at the end of the day, you make a decision. You make lots of decisions.
Now I know that wasn’t what you thought I was going to dive into or what I was going to pull out of a rabbit’s hat. And I have Seth Godin to thank for that question. It was a blog post that he wrote and it got me to thinking because the very first thing I said out loud was, “Seth, I make.” And I started into all the things that I make, and I do, and I create. And then I was like, “Whoa, Seth, okay, I get what you’re putting down, I get what you’re putting down.” So the whole point of that was just to prove that we make business decisions. That we make life decisions, and we have to get good at making them. And that there are external forces at play, when we’re making decisions, and also internal forces at play when we’re making decisions.
But we might actually argue that we need to make right decisions or more right decisions and not just decisions. And that might be true, because you would think that making more right decisions would lead us down the path to success, right? Because surely we don’t need decision-making to become gambling in our life and our business. And that’s kind of what decisions are if they’re not fueled by the right things. We begin to make gambling decisions in our life and our business when there’s not solid intention behind the decision-making. Getting good at decisions means we need to be getting good at ourselves.
The focus is getting good at being us and what drives us and what we are really passionate about. The things that matter. The things that are serving us, and what we feel called to do for others. It means getting good at really seeing the clarity behind the things that we’re doing. What’s actually fueling our decision making. The emotions, the behaviors, the patterns, those are the real drivers of our decision making, but we have to get good at being ourselves. And those emotions and those behaviors and those patterns are what is behind all of that. What makes us us.
So when you are making a decision in your business, do you use my mantra? “If it’s not a hell, yes, it’s a no.” So did you say yes to that thing because it was a hell yes moment for you? Or did you say yes, because underneath it all, it was really a fear to say no. Remember, if it’s not that hell yes in your gut, in your soul, it always has to be no. Awareness of the situation matters greatly. If you’re unsure, say you’ll get back to the person. But you know what, if you are unsure, isn’t that your soul saying no? If you need to get back to the person, is it because you don’t want to hurt their feelings? Because that’s your soul already saying no. How do we kindly say no? “You know what, this just not is not a great time for me.” Or, “You know what, this is not what my business is about.” And I know sometimes that people use and even myself, I – hand is raised, I actually said this recently – “It’s not personal, it’s business.” Yet, we’re creatives, so everything is personal. Everything we do is personal. It’s really hard to draw that line in the sand and say, “That’s business over there. And this is personal over here. And there’s that fine line where I’m not going to cross it because that’s business over there. And this is personal over here.” And wow, we’re creatives. And again, I’ve said it, I – like I mentioned I said it recently, it’s not personal, it’s business. “You screwed me. We had a friendship. We can still maintain that friendship.” But really, do you want to maintain that friendship? If somebody screws you like that? No, you do not. “It’s business. It’s not personal.” It absolutely is personal. If we have to say that we are saying, inside ourselves, we are saying, “Hey, yo, that does not align. That’s not – that doesn’t align with our being. That doesn’t align with our soul. That is a hell to the no.”
So how do you say that nicely? If you know, let me know. There are just things that sometimes it’s like, you know what, just be straightforward. “You know what this isn’t gonna work out.” And leave it at that. Give it a pause. They’ll fill in the pause. You don’t have to explain. You don’t have to explain. You do not have to explain. It’s not a hell yes in your soul, it’s always a no. Awareness matters greatly.
Getting good at you takes trust and courage in yourself. It takes conviction inside your soul. It’s not about being perfect, though. Absolutely not. We’re human. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about expanding and advancing you forward towards what it is that you actually want. It’s about you finally understanding your intention, that clarity, that seeing, and being fueled by everything that makes up you. Which includes your weaknesses. It includes your quirks. It includes your oddities. It includes your weirdness. It includes all of it. When you can get good at being you, when you accept all of you – and I mean all of you – you will finally get good at being you. Don’t fix or hide these things about you, those weaknesses, those oddities, those quirks. Life’s too short, to try to make yourself perfect in the eyes of other humans. It’s way too short. Embrace yourself. Embrace all the things about you. Let those things work for you. Let them help you to navigate your business world and your entrepreneurial journey exactly the way you already are. And that in and of itself is powerful because again, at the end of the day, you are not replicatable. This is what will attract the right people to you. This is what will attract your ideal clients. This is what will help you say no to the wrong kinds of opportunities, and say yes to the right ones. It’s what will help you pivot when things start to be controlled by external factors that work against your intentions. Lean into who you are. Get good at being you. Accept yourself as you are.
So I just finished reading The Soul-Sourced Entrepreneur by Christine Kane, which is An Unconventional Success Plan for the Highly Creative, Secretly Sensitive, and Wildly Ambitious, and I’m gonna give it a four out of five. It started off as a strong five and then I got about 80% through – which is a good percentage through – and I was like, and now I feel it’s lacking. And the reasons I feel it’s lacking is that – don’t get me wrong, I’m going to encourage you to read this book. Like it is legitimately Boss Girl Creative with a big fat stamp on it. But I felt like it lacked in next steps and lacked a recap and it lacked – kind of lacked a roadmap nice and succinctly at the end of the book. Don’t get me wrong, it’s strong. It legitimately is Boss Girl Creative and what I stand for. The chapter topics themselves are Strategy and Soul, Initiating Intention, Managing Power, Interpreting Experiences and Navigating Decisions. Really great book. And inside the book, Christine talks about having an intention-izer tool, which I think is so incredibly important in business, and even in life because if you don’t know what your actual intention is, those decisions that you’re making – which was the whole purpose of this episode – those decisions that you’re making, without intention, become muddied. And you don’t have the backbone that you need in order to move yourself forward. And so, like I said, four out of five. She gives some really great things to think about and to ponder on. And there are a lot of “Whoa, okay, I feel you.” But at the end, I was a little let down, so four out of five, but lots of really great tools in there.
Her intention-izer tool being one of them and there are six steps to that tool. Step one is intention toward. And this is you actually writing down your dream or your intention. What is it that you’re wanting to accomplish? What is that big thing – that I talked about last week – what is your big thing that’s going to get you there? What is your definition of success? When you get there? How are you going to know that you’re there without knowing what it is that you’re trying to accomplish? So step one is intention toward. Describing that dream, describing your intention.
Step two is intention from. List up to five things that you don’t want in your life or business any more. So in a perfect world, what do you want to get rid of? What do you want out of your life that’s preventing you from getting to what you want to do or where you want to be? So list up the five things you don’t want in your life anymore.
Step three. Once you settle in on what you want, write down three reasons why you want them. So you know, in my Pillar Series, one of my main pillars is knowing your why and your what. This is so incredibly important, so I was excited to see that in her step three. So once you’ve settled in on what you want, write down three reasons why you want that thing. Why you want that intention. Why you want that dream.
Step four is to acknowledge your ego, and at least three reasons why your ego wants this thing. And I’m for real, Christine’s for real, that’s why it’s step four in her intention-izer tool. These are reasons you wouldn’t readily admit, if you were asked as to why you want the intention or why you want the dream. And to give you some examples is because possibly you want to be a millionaire or a billionaire. Or maybe you want to be noticed at Target when you go shopping. What does your ego want out of this? We have to acknowledge that and I appreciated that that was in there as well. We’re human. Remember, we’re human.
Step five, list up to five changes, you may have to make for your intention or dream to happen. We cannot do this without change, without transformation. There are things we’re going to have to sacrifice things, we’re going to have to change in order to get there, so I need you to be realistic. Up to five things that are going to need to change internally or externally in order for you to get there.
And our last step number six, ask yourself, are you in? Are you in? After you’ve done the first five steps, and you’ve reviewed all of it, step six is saying, “Yes, I’m in.” If you can’t, without a shadow of a doubt, without any hesitation, say yes, I’m in, you need to go backwards and start again, and figure out what is holding you back. Because until you’re ready to say, “Hell yes, I’m in. Sign my name. Write the words in big bold letters I’m in,” you’re not going to get there. You won’t have a solid intention. You won’t have a solid dream. You have to firmly stand in yourself and say I’m in and mean it. If there’s any hesitation, you got to go back and figure out what has to change because this is how we go forward. This is how we get to that big thing that we’re all working towards. Whatever that might mean for you. These steps will help you define it and if you don’t really know the answer to number one, to step one, start with step two, and weed out the things that you no longer want in your life. The things that are no longer serving you in your life. We can’t get good at being ourselves until we acknowledge the things that are no longer serving us and getting them out of our lives. Making that transformation of taking those things out of our lives. We can’t. We will forever be on that hamster wheel that will just keep spinning and that will serve none of us. That will not serve you. So, are you in?
Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode. Again, get yourself on the Inner Circle waitlist if you missed out. bossgirlcreative.com/InnerCircle. Until next time, I hope you have a great rest of your week.