Episode #301: Be Unapologetically You
TAYLOR BRADFORD: You are listening to episode number 301 of the Boss Girl Creative podcast. Today I’m talking about being unapologetically you. On to the episode.
Welcome to Episode 301. I’m your host, Taylor Bradford. Thank you so much for tuning into this episode, which is all about being unapologetically you and why that’s important. And before we dive in, I want to just give a quick reminder that the doors to the Inner Circle membership will be reopening April the first, and it’s going to be one level of membership. So my existing Inner Circle members are able to stay at their level of membership, they will be grandfathered in for as long as they want to be at that level, and then the new membership level is going to be $27 a month—one level of membership. You will gain access to the Inner Circle membership, which includes monthly live Q&As, a monthly book club, where we read or continue reading a nonfiction business-related book. We also have interaction through a Facebook group. There’s also weekly office hours through my Voxer channel, so if you need some kind of one-on-one, if you have a question or what have you, you can send me an audio message, and then I can get back to you. So weekly office hours, and so much more. You’ll have access to my template library and my resource library. And yeah, some really cool things. So that is happening. April 1 doors will reopen. You can get yourself on the waitlist right now by visiting bossgirlcreative.com/InnerCircle. So add yourself to the waitlist so that you are one of the first to learn when the doors actually tangibly open. And the doors will be open from April 1 through April 15. Again, one membership level entrance to get you into the Inner Circle. $27 a month. And yeah, I’m excited for the doors to reopen. We’ve had some great progress for those that are in the current Inner Circle membership and what they have found and the progress that they’ve made, and the implementation that they’ve enacted on. And it’s been really great to see their growth and their journey. And so I’m excited for a new round of Inner Circle members to come in and be a part of this community and have access to me to ask your questions, get business advice, and learn from the others in the group as well. So bossgirlcreative.com/InnerCircle. Get yourself on the waitlist. Doors open April 1.
All right, so let’s dive into this topic of being unapologetically you. I’m going to start off with some quotes. First one’s Dolly Parton. “Find out who you are, and do it on purpose.” Absolutely love that quote. Second quote – I’m not sure who actually wrote this one; I tried tracking it down, but here it goes, “I’m not trying to be a new me, I’m just learning how to own the real me.” Love that one as well. And then the third one is a Yoko Ono quote, “You change the world by being yourself.” And ultimately, in order for us to be ourselves, we have to be unapologetically who we are. And that’s what this episode is about.
And I want to kind of talk about some of the things that I’ve been struggling with in my own world. And kind of how this topic kind of came to fruition. Probably for the last, I don’t know, two months, maybe three months – we’re in March, some – maybe about three months – I have felt detachment, extreme disconnect, and just pure loneliness. And I know that part of it stems from my location in relation to where my friends live. And it’s something that, you know, we go through seasons of life, and I feel like I go through seasons. It doesn’t happen frequently, but like right now, I feel the most lonely that I’ve ever felt in my life. And I know it’s a season that I’m in and which is kind of how this episode came up, even though it’s not necessarily me not being unapologetically me because I feel like I do that really, really well. It’s my core values, you know, or it’s what is driven by my core values, what’s important to me and my businesses. But also, even though I’m living unapologetically me, I’m still struggling with these things. So I’m feeling disconnected, feeling a lot of loneliness. I’m feeling left out of things. I’m feeling discouraged because of the pandemic and how Sugar Creek and even Boss Girl how they’ve been faring through the last, you know, period of time. Sugar Creek is really having a slow reboot out of the pandemic, which is devastating. It’s a little overwhelming seeing the slow movement, overwhelming in the sense that there’s financial aspects to that as well. Not having a day job is having problem – I’m having problems with that. And it just not being the right time in society for the type of job that I am really good at doing.
And also, I’m starting to feel – and this happens every two to three years – I’m starting to feel the need to kind of re-umbrella things back together. In 2018 – and what I mean by that – in 2018 – actually 2017, I became Sugar Creek Event Rentals – actually, I was Sugar Creek Vintage Rentals. I changed that I believe in ’19. I dropped Vintage and just made it Event Rentals. But in 2018, I separated my design business out of the rental side of things. So they became two businesses. Sugar Creek Creative is design and styling, whereas the rental company was the rental company. And – because I felt that I was attracting two different clients – or I was trying to attract a different client with the Creative. But now that I have revamped all of my websites – so there’s TheHouseofSugarCreek.com, there is SugarCreekEventRentals.com, and SugarCreekCreative.com, and then I kind of soft-launched Sugar Creek Collective, which is supposed to be where I sell items related to vintage living in a vintage home. And I have The Studio at Sugar Creek, and then I launched some other things. And I’m overwhelmed by how much marketing goes into all of them. And so, right now, I am just marketing through Sugar Creek Event Rentals and my personal Instagram, which is @TaylorLBradford.
I’m going to keep @TaylorLBradford. I’ve thought about changing it to @TheHouseofSugarCreek, but I – and I already have The House of Sugar Creek, it just – I captured it so that I wouldn’t lose it in case somebody decided to become The House of Sugar Creek – and I’ve thought now that it’s probably time to merge them all back together under The House of Sugar Creek, which is going to take some behind-the-scenes work to pull them all back together after I just did a lot of work on rebranding, not necessarily my logo, but I completely revamped the websites, so they all look and feel the same. So if you go to The House of Sugar Creek, or you go to Sugar Creek Event Rentals, or you go to Sugar Creek Creative, they’re all using the same theme, and they’re all – so they functionally tied together. So if you’re on one or the other, you’re going to know that it’s related to me somehow. And – but I’m feeling the draw because of the overwhelm in actually having to market all of them. I’m feeling that pressure, and that’s also contributing to these thoughts and feelings. And ultimately, they come down to the fears I have. And I have to let – I have to let fear go because we can’t live in fear. And when we live in fear, we’re no longer being unapologetically ourselves. And from the outside, what you guys see, either as followers of Boss Girl Creative or if you follow any of my Instagrams, you’re not gonna see that I’m feeling any of these things until I tell you or if you’re – or maybe if you’re in my personal world.
So there’s still lots going on. I just launched a YouTube channel, The House of Sugar Creek, which has been so much fun. And I will be podcasting soon, hopefully, next week about that experience of launching an actual YouTube channel so you can get some insights if that is something that you’re interested in doing. And then I eventually want to talk about what my first five episodes I’ve learned and then also maybe my first ten episodes or so. That’s in the works. Learning what I’ve learned through launching a YouTube channel and what this journey is going to play out to be. And so I’m excited to be able to talk about that as well and teach through that because it’s all learning like I teach because I love learning, and I want to make you more successful in the things that you do and help you implement. And so that is why Boss Girl Creative exists.
So I’ve been feeling all these things. Feeling the need to kind of re-umbrella my Sugar Creek businesses to The House of Sugar Creek and to lean more into that. And I’m also considering offering wedding planning and coordination services. Now, whether or not I actually will do the planning and coordinating, that’s still to be determined. I’ve never had an inkling or a desire to do that, but it is something I’m exploring. I don’t know what it actually will look like. But again, you know, the pandemic has forced me, in a good way, to really look at things and look at my business models, etc., etc. And with the slow reboot, even though I’ve been doing weddings since June of 2020 when our state started to reopen, I have been doing events, but the booking cycles, the sale cycles are really off still. And so I’m trying to figure out, like, will it make sense for me to do XYZ. So that’s what’s going on in my world, but there’s still like – what you guys see is me launching a YouTube channel, you see me celebrating 300 episodes last week with the podcast, which is so incredibly amazing. And also trying to build a house, which that’s the keyword ‘trying.’
So, but I keep seeing signs from the universe that I have to talk about being unapologetically you, and what that means and how we can do that and what prevents us from doing that. And the first sign that I saw was an actual Instagram post from our friend, Cinnamon Wolf. You can follow her at cinnamonwolfe with an e.co. Cinnamon is a photographer. She’s been in the creative wedding world for quite a while. I’ve been on her podcast in the past, I believe, talking about SEO, and she is a photographer still but primarily serves the editing world for wedding photographers. So you can hire Cinnamon to edit your gallery for you. A lot of photographers do that. I think it’s brilliant. And she also offers coaching and services for photographers and really any creative that finds her, you know, connects with her. And she posted recently that she’s also doing a shift – I feel like we’re all in shifts, like, I have friends that are shifting too. So I feel like maybe the pandemic has all caused us to really zero in and make some shifts and make some pivots. And some were initial because we, you know, had to go with the flow. And some are just now happening because we’ve now like we’re back in this, whatever this normal is, and we’re trying to see, you know, what our footing is for how we move forward, etc. And so Cinnamon is actually – she was only business posting on her Instagram, and now she is incorporating more life. And she’s feeling the pressure of the curation part and how and what to share. What’s – should it just be business? Can I add personal? How do you mix the two? Where’s the balance? And her post kind of triggered me to say, you know, like, you have to just be you. Like, you – what is important to you is what you should be sharing because that’s part of your story. And so she’s talking about transitioning in this particular post on her Instagram account, from all business to a mixture of life and business and the pressure that she feels to curate that. And this was my response to her, “I think there is for sure pressure, but I also think that people are curious enough about it all – meaning our lives. And I am unapologetically me. That is one of my core values is to show up authentically as me every single day”.
Now I don’t – I had somebody say hey, but how do you really show up on a – how do you really show up authentically? Like does a surgeon say, hey, I’m going to be authentic in this surgery today? No, I don’t think that that’s a mindful thing. I think that we just show up and be who we are and be unapologetic about who we are. So if you are a badass surgeon, you know, even if you have a big ego, that you’re about so what you do, and you show up with you know bells on every time you show up for surgery, because you are providing an amazing rockstar service for your client because you are about us at what you do. I think that’s how you show up authentically is being able to show up on apologetically as yourself.
So, I am unapologetically me. I’ve missed out on some really big rental orders because the person did not want to follow what was important to me, like what my rules were, what my policies are. And, yeah, that sucked, but I wasn’t willing to negotiate me and what’s important to my business and what I feel is important to my businesses. “So I think the balance” – so I keep going – “I think the balance is to define what your hard line is, without actually curating your feed, per se. You (Cinnamon) have a great eye behind the lens, so take photos of all the things and save them for a rainy day. It’s like building your own stock photography library. That way, when something is on your heart to share, you’ve got your own self covered with a collection of beautiful images. I don’t think that many people are working at curating their feeds much anymore. I think it tends to curate itself if the focus is on the story.” And while I am thinking back, as I wrote that, I should clarify that curating and looking at your feed, and learning what you like, as a photo to show up in your feed. That is curation, but what I meant was I don’t think that people are necessarily obsessing over what their feed looks like anymore, especially if they are unapologetically themselves. They will post a photo that represents them and their brand, and it’s probably going to stay on brand. But are they actively thinking about the curation? I don’t know that they’re actively thinking about the curation because at the end of the day, your story, your brand story, is why people follow you. Your being unapologetically you is why people are attracted to you.
So right now, in my own world, I’m experiencing a lot of stress and fear and overwhelm and being out of control, and it’s hindering my ability to be fully unapologetically me because I’m feeling trapped with this negative stuff. And so I’ve been really working on my morning routine, and kind of – just really my daily routine – I’ve been really intentional or trying to be really intentional about meditation, and affirmations, and journal writing. And the moment I have a negative thought, trying to find a better thought, if I – if I’m feeling lonely, or if I’m feeling stressed, or I’m feeling anxiety, or I’m feeling whatever, I know that it’s not easy to just jump to joy, and – but I know that I can find a better feeling than what I’m currently feeling. So I know I have the power to choose joy, to choose a better feeling, than what I’m currently feeling. And so I am really working because this sucks. It absolutely sucks when I can’t be myself, my full, unapologetic self. It sucks.
And so I have been working – like I said, I’m trying so hard to be – to have a morning routine again. I feel like I fell off the bandwagon with that. And so my meditations I’m a part of Gabby Bernstein’s Miracle Membership that she does. And so every month, there’s a theme, and she has meditations. And I do the Affirm It app from Affirmation Addict. And so, between the two of them, I am getting spiritually filled, and that’s starting to help. So meditations from Gabby and journaling, affirmations from Affirmation Addict through her app, Affirm It and then surrendering. But I want to be clear that surrendering is not giving up. Surrendering is not giving in, either. Surrendering is letting go of the things I can’t control, and trusting that the universe has my back, and trusting that the good stuff is on its way and which is how I can choose a different feeling choose a better feeling—so working on surrendering because it’s crippling to feel these feelings. It’s absolutely crippling because I do live my life so unapologetically me.
So I’m working day to day on intentionally being that. Finding that person again, creating and living through purpose. Consistently bringing my mind back to the present and choosing joy and love. Which I think this affirmation is a beautiful affirmation, “When I make joy a priority, brilliant ideas will come naturally, support will surround me, and movements will form.” I need to work on surrounding myself with relationships that are without judgment and full of active support. Because I am feeling that. I’m feeling that I have friendships, but they’re not actively supporting me. They’re not actively being my cheerleaders, and I don’t do friendships that way. I need friends that are in it with me through the thick and the thin, that keep judgment out of friendship, that give tough love in a loving way but are supporters and cheerleaders as well. And I am feeling that and then being a cheerleader for them, being a cheerleader for my husband, being a cheerleader and supporter for my friends and for my family. I have to give what I also want to receive and being way more mindful of that.
So to be unapologetically you, you’ve got to own your strengths and your weaknesses. You’ve got to chase your dreams and chase your desires. You’ve got to learn to work through your fears and overcome them. Let them go. Surrender them, and own your quirkiness own every aspect of your whole being. You’ve got to stand firm in the knowledge that though you are imperfect because we are all imperfect, you are always a work in progress with infinite potential. We can all still grow. Have the courage to reveal who you really are. Embrace your vulnerabilities without guilt, shame, or fear. That’s being unapologetically you. I found an article on Medium. I will link it in the show notes that is titled 10 Things That Happen When You Become Unapologetically You.
Number one, you become braver.
Number two, you live life according to your own rules. One of my mottos is roll out your own red carpet because no one else will.
Number three, realize who is toxic in your life and cut those ties.
Number four, begin attracting the right people. Once you begin living unapologetically you, you’re going to attract other people that are living unapologetically as themselves.
Number five, you stop trying to impress others and focus on just impressing yourself, showing up for yourself.
Number six, you’re going to have a better chance at success because you’re chasing your dreams; you’re chasing your desires.
Number seven, it’s going to be harder for people to bring you down.
Number eight, being unapologetically you is liberating.
Number nine, once you begin changing your life, and chasing your passions and chasing your dreams, and moving out of your comfort zone, that’s when you really begin living your life.
And number 10, you’re going to finally realize they didn’t really care about your life. When you start focusing in on yourselves, you’re going to realize that other people are just worried about themselves.
So it’s time to live unapologetically you. Set aside the fear, surrender the fear, surrender the anxiety, surrender all of it. Add a morning routine, create a morning routine, and be mindful throughout your day to help you continue to be your unapologetic self.
Alright, here are some affirmations that I chose for today. I choose to let go of my worries. I allow myself to be proud of who I am. I am living my purpose loud and proud. I am comfortable with who I am. I am capable of shedding all that holds me back. I am only giving attention to all that brings me joy. I welcome joy into my life in the form of experiences and friends. I’m loved, appreciated, and acknowledged by those who are around me.
Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode about being unapologetically you and how you can get there. I so appreciate every one of you who tunes in from week to week. Again a reminder about getting yourself on the waitlist for the Inner Circle membership. Doors open April 1st. They close on the 15th and get yourself on the waitlist, so you know when the doors open. Visit bossgirlcreative.com/InnerCircle. You don’t want to miss out on this next round because the doors won’t reopen until August. So I hope you’ll consider getting yourself on the waitlist. And until next week, I hope you have a great rest of this one.