Episode #284: Cancel Culture and Entitlement
TAYLOR BRADFORD: You’re listening to episode number 284 of the Boss Girl Creative podcast. Today I’m talking about cancel culture, online shaming, and entitlement. On to the episode.
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Hey, welcome to Episode 284. I’m your host, Taylor Bradford. I’m excited that you are here. Today, we’re going to be talking about cancel culture, aka call-out culture, aka online shaming. We’re also going to be talking about entitlement and all of that, and there are definitely stories to go with all of this. You guys know if you’ve been a listener for a while that I teach through my own experiences. And yeah, so that’s what we’re talking about today. I had an instance that occurred on Friday that prompted this, and oh, man – you guys, I’ve actually experienced this myself, but we’re going to talk about what is cancel culture first and get some definitions, and then we’re going to talk about the scenarios because this is something worth having a conversation over.
So what is cancel culture? Here’s the definition – if you go out to Google, this is what pops up – “modern form of ostracism, in which someone is thrust out of social or professional circles, either online, on social media, in the real world, or both. Those who are subject to this ostracism are said to be canceled.” So there was an article in the Miami Herald written by Katie Camaro, and she writes, “you can cancel Netflix subscriptions, Amazon orders, and even Zoom happy hours – and now in the last several years, you can cancel people. So the cancel culture gained a foothold in the #MeToo movement and has grown to shun anyone and anything that does or represents something offensive to particular people, cultures, or ideologies. When it comes to cancel culture, it’s a way to take away someone’s power and call out the individual for being problematic in a situation.” That was a quote from Neelum, who is a 17-year-old Chicago high school senior who was quoted in the New York Times. Seth Andrews writes, “the internet has made this kind of mob rule far too easy. It has never been easier to pounce on someone from a distance, jam them into a box, and set the box on fire.”
So I went searching for definitions because it’s not just cancel culture – like there are definitions on how people are reacting and acting. So there are four things there’s a calling in a calling out, boycotting, and canceling. So calling in is speaking to an individual privately about their perceived harmful or problematic actions or opinions. Calling out is criticizing an individual or organization publicly, usually on social media. Boycotting is withholding financial support from a company in order to force change within that company’s policies or practices. Once demand is met, support is resumed. And then canceling is a collective attempt at ruining the reputation and livelihood of an individual or organization in response to a problematic or harmful action or opinion. So those definitions came from an article through well good.com and then I got some more quotes Lisa Nakamura, who is the Director of Digital Studies Institute at the University of Michigan, told CBS News, “before the pandemic, I don’t think it was seen as a necessarily pervasive, it was just the internet being the internet. But I really believe that post-COVID everyone’s on the internet so much that they’re having to revise how important it is what you say online because no one’s doing anything else.” Meredith Clark, who is a media studies professor at the University of Virginia, is quoted as saying, “too often, I do think that cancel culture gets into its own obsession with the purity of someone or an idea. That if an idea or a person doesn’t completely align with a set of values, then they are essentially disposable.” And then former President Barack Obama has said recently, “that’s not activism, that’s not bringing about change” – he’s referring to cancel culture – “If all you are doing is casting stones, you’re probably not going to get that far. That’s easy to do.”
So I also want to talk about entitlement because I think a lot of cancel culture stems from entitlement. So I found an article called – or I think it’s a book – called The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement by Jean Twinge and W. Keith Campbell, and they describe narcissists as those who are overconfident. “They – the narcissists – demand special treatment because they think they are entitled to it, not because of hard work, kind deeds, or accomplishment, but because of who they perceive themselves to be. In their lives, they have little time for anyone else, but themselves and most likely do not have caring and reciprocal relationships. They often take advantage of others in order to advance their self-interest and tend to display symbols of affluence, though they may not be affluent, because such symbols attract attention and envy.”
And then I also found an article written on Medium. J. L. Rose wrote this particular article in response to – or basically the articles about instant reply entitlement, which has to do with instant gratification, instant likes, instant attention, instant fame, instant success. And this is what they wrote, “not being available at the drop of a hat. That is where this instant reply entitlement is stemming from. The result: you get the ugly side of people that shows up in emails, DMs, phone calls. There’s yelling. There’s spam. There’s threatening actions. There’s being demeaned. There’s being disrespectful for the mere crime of not answering messages as soon as they arrive.” Here’s the examples that are given in the article. “Oh, I self-published this book three days ago, but nobody bought it. I’m going to take it down and quit. Published authors wait years for their work to get published. You spend a month writing it, others spend years and then some.” Here’s another example, “I posted this cutie selfie of myself, and nobody has liked it yet. I must be ugly.” Likes online mean nothing. GTFO and do your homework. You’ve got a lot to learn about life that’s not on the internet.
So this is what I want to talk about. Cancel culture public shaming, entitlement, especially the entitlement of instant gratification. And I took to my Facebook to ask for some crowdsourcing regarding this, and I’m going to get to the responses that I received shortly, but I feel like this is where our society is broken. This is a huge part of why we’re broken. And having the internet at our fingertips, whether it’s through Instagram, or email, or Twitter, or DMs, or Facebook or Snapchat, or Tik Tok. Like, we have our digital lives at our fingertips, and we can lead a militia of mob people if we feel wronged or if we feel strongly enough about a certain situation, where then it does bring the mob mentality to side with you.
And I saw this happen. So I’m going to talk about the first instance, and I’m going to also talk about my own personal instances of this. So on Friday, I receive a message from a good friend of mine, who is alerting me to an influencer on Instagram who is bashing my friend. She knows she’s my friend, this other person that is being bashed because of our friendship, and she’s heard me talk about her. So I didn’t really know what was going on, and I asked her to share with me who I need to go take a peek at. And so she gave me the account on Instagram, and I’m watching the stories from this influencer. And the first thing the influencer puts out that is still – that I can still see because you know, Instagram Stories only lasts for 24 hours – is a poll. And the poll is asking, basically, questions against influencers. What do you not like about influencers? What do you not like about seeing them talk about sponsored posts or running ads? What makes you unfollow an influencer? So I can see where this is gearing up and going. And being an influencer comes with a lot of challenges. I’ve seen influencers completely, basically sell out, and they take on everything because all they see is dollar signs. But then the flip side of that is I see influencers creating authentic collaborations with brands they truly stand behind. And so yeah, you’ll see them talk about those brands a lot because they truly love those brands. And at the end of the day, it’s a business. For all influencers, this is a business, whether it’s a side-hustle business or it’s their actual livelihood. We all have to pay bills, and influencers pay bills by working with brands in collaboration. So these stories are leading up to – I can just feel it – epic bashing, and I don’t know other than my friend is involved, whom else might be being targeted. And the next thing I see is her starting to rant. And thankfully, she doesn’t call them out, but it is painfully obvious who she is referring to, so she should have just said their names.
But she’s talking about two influencers, who, quote-unquote, out of the blue, started talking about World Market, and the ad was for World Market for the holidays. And I had just seen my friend talk about World Market for the holidays. But I didn’t think two things about it because I have seen her work with World Market in the past. Heck, I’ve worked with World Market in the past, and I’m not a major influencer. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in the influencer world, but about a year ago, I said yes to a campaign with World Market because I love World Market. So this girl is just throwing so much shade and negativity towards my friend regarding World Market, this collaboration with World Market. And the things she is saying are so off-base, related to my friend, and you can just tell it is literally laced with jealousy. It is literally laced with entitlement. Like I’ve never seen either of these two influencers – this is kind of words that this girl was saying – I’ve never seen either of these two influencers ever mentioning owning anything World Market, or I’ve never seen them, either of them ever working with World Market. And she just goes down this really bad rabbit hole. And I know she’s got people in her DMs that we can’t see spurring her on because the friend that alerted me to this rant, and to this public shaming of my friend started messaging her and asking, “who are you talking about?” which is where she confirmed it was one of my friends. So I am ragey. I’m ragey, but I don’t like confrontation. I’m an Enneagram 1, and if you know anything about Enneagrams, I am black and white, and I don’t stand for people being taken advantage of, and I will be first to step up and defend you. I will be first to say that’s not right. And – but I don’t like confrontation, I wing nine – so I don’t really like a lot of confrontation unless I’m just pushed to that. So I write a message to her to send in DMs, and the gist is – well, I’m upset, so it’s definitely an upset message, but I’m not mean, and I’m not anything other than defending my friend and saying how disappointed I was that she was so far from the truth about my friend, that I literally have a hard time processing this much shade being thrown at such an authentic individual. And the person that she is throwing under the bus is the most authentic person I know on the internet. Who you see her to be on her Instagram is exactly who she is in person. And I’ve known this friend since 2011. I’ve interacted with her multiple times. We grew up together on the internet, basically. We’ve interacted in person multiple times. Like, the shade being thrown at her was not fair. And you know, I understand life’s not fair but to take to your platform and throw two people – I don’t know who the other person was. I’m only defending my friend because that’s the person that I was like, Whoa, what? No, no, no, no, you have it all wrong. She has legit worked with World Market since World Market had opportunities. I started working with World Market way back in like 2015. And so I’ve seen her work with World Market. She was a fan of World Market before World Market had influencer collaborations, blogger collaborations. I’ve worked with them just as long as she has. Now, she stayed in the influencer world, and I’ve stepped out of the influencer world, but I still pay attention to what she’s doing and how she’s growing her business. We still chat. We still talk. Like, I’m very much still a part of her circle, and I was flabbergasted that she got lumped into this. And I’m not saying all influencers are like my friend because there are some shady individuals in the world calling themselves influencers, but my friend isn’t one of them. And so I messaged a lengthy message to this girl and basically said, “you have this wrong.” And this is really disappointing that I had to find out about it from another friend of mine who is a follower of yours and hers. And you guys, she wrote me back. And she said to me, “whoa, Nelly, you guys love your drama. Do you feel better now? Gosh, I sure hope so.” And then she went back on her stories with a kissy face and said, “blowing kisses to the rage mob that came after me for my stories today. Hope you all got that pent up anger out. Glad to be of service.”
Okay. That’s, that’s not how you handle a situation when people are trying to defend somebody that you have thrown alleged negativity at who shouldn’t be lumped in those things. It may be worth your time to maybe check yourself. And I know I wasn’t the only one that witnessed it, and I’m sure she did receive several messages. And I don’t know what the other messages said, but if multiple people are saying, “Hey, you’ve got it wrong with this one human,” and then because I’m not going to stand for that, “That’s bullying.” And I messaged my friend, and I said, “Hey, this chick is bullying you and throwing you under the bus. And I’ve already said something to her, but I just want you to be aware this isn’t right. She’s being a bully. And I know it’s stemming from jealousy entitlement, but I just want to make you aware.” And so my friend actually went and sent her some audio messages through her DMs and tried to basically call her out, and the girl ends up backpedaling with her, but she didn’t backpedal with anyone else that was trying to defend her.
So this whole situation – public shaming, the entitlement, the like literally using your platform to break others and how you perceive them to be and then if you get called out for that because you are so misinformed. I don’t – why are we broken like this? Where did it become okay to publicly shame somebody? To have this cancel culture -and I know it starts with the bigs. There’s been times when I’ve flown, and something didn’t happen the way I wanted it to, and I knew customer service responds to Twitter. And so you would take to Twitter to try to get somebody to answer you or to fix your problem quickly. And so I have done that. I have taken to Twitter to try to get the brand to respond to me because I wasn’t getting anywhere, maybe I was on hold too long, or the situation needed to be escalated, and so we are learning that this is how we escalate things. But when it comes down to a human being, and I’m not saying it’s, it’s necessarily right to go to Twitter and take on an airline, but the flip side of that, major brands have major dollars to fix situations. Individuals, small business owners do not. And that’s what’s wrong, and taking and using our platforms to hurt other human beings because maybe in 60 seconds, they made a bad choice.
Now I’m going to say, without a shadow of a doubt, my friend made zero bad choices. This had nothing to do with her making a bad choice. This had everything to do with this girl perceiving her to be somebody and not knowing who she truly is and claiming that she’s been a longtime follower. Well, if you’ve been a longtime follower, you would have seen her working with World Market multiple times, you would see her talking about her World Market purchases outside of collaborations. So you’re not a longtime follower. You’re not truly paying attention. And that’s okay, but don’t publicly shame somebody because you think you know, because you don’t. You absolutely don’t know. What an interesting situation, it really made me ragey because it was who it was – my friend.
So I’m going to talk about another instance. And if I’ve shared this on the podcast, I can’t recall, so if you’ve heard this story before, fast forward. Before I ever launched Boss Girl Creative, I was working on Boss Girl Creative, and I was working on interviews. And the first time I heard a podcast and that inspired me to become a podcaster was in the fall of 2014, and I knew this was the medium I was going to step into next. That was the first time I heard a podcast, and I know you guys have heard me talk about that. And so, in early 2015, I knew what I was going to be podcasting about. I didn’t know the actual, like, nitty-gritty of how to do it, but I knew I was going to take my blogging education series that I’d written on my website and convert that into a podcast. So I signed myself up for B-School that year – 2015, and I started that in the spring of 2015, now in February – so I signed up, I think in February, but it didn’t start till March, but in February I came up with the name Boss Girl Creative. I was inspired by Girl Boss, and so I made sure to research before I chose a name. What was out there and what was trademarked and so on and so forth. So I selected Boss Girl Creative, and then I went through B-School and working through B-School because I’m trying to figure out how do I create Boss Girl Creative? What is this business going to look like? What is the platform? Obviously, I’m going to be using audio, but what all is going to be a part of this? And just figuring all that out, and I hired a coach while I was in B-School to kind of help me with some one-on-one strategy.
And then I finished B-School, and I hired Anne Samoilov – actually joined her Fearless Launching program because I learned in B-School that maybe I didn’t have the resources and tools to effectively launch something. And so I went through that, and I was gearing myself – as I was working through that program, I was gearing myself up to launch Boss Girl Creative in July. I think it was like July 1 or July 3; it was the first Wednesday of July in 2015. That’s when the show officially launched with three episodes. So in June, I was looking for a web developer to create the Boss Girl Creative website. And as I had learned through B-School and through Fearless Launching and my interactions with other humans and what was going on in the podcasting world at that time, that podcast’s websites were different than blogs, and I had only interacted and handled blogs before. I’m self-taught with everything that I do, and I wasn’t sure about the formatting for a podcast show. So I hired a web developer, and I went out on the internet and researched a bunch of different podcasts and their website. And I took notes, and I gave those notes to this web developer. And I said, I really love how this person is doing this thing. I really love how this person is doing this thing. I really love how this person is doing this thing, so on and so forth. And instead of creating a test site, or a staging site of my website, he was live designing. And I didn’t think anything of it at the time because I wasn’t launched yet. And he built my website live without any kind of plugin that says coming soon or maintenance mode, but I didn’t think anything of it until he completely copied another podcaster’s website onto my website. Like, full, blatant HTML code of their website on my website. And I, when I discovered it, I was like, “Oh, my gosh, what in the world? Like, how to – stop, like, fix this, like, shut it down? What are you doing? I didn’t ask for this. And he started ghosting me. And with my limited experience with how to build websites, because I only understood blogging at that time, I tried to fix it myself. Instead of just – can – like, basically canceling the website, or getting it shut down or reaching out to my host and having him helped me out. Like I was like, I can fix this. I’m not launched yet. I can fix this. Well, in the time of me fixing this, somebody who was a fan of that show stumbled onto it and went back to that podcaster and basically said, “Hey, your website is cloned.” And instead of – and then they came and attacked me talk to me on social media. I don’t know that I got emails, but I got attacked on social media. I may have gotten emails; it’s been a while. And I was still trying to fix it to the best of my understanding, and instead of coming to me, or – and the flipside is I didn’t go to them because that was my next issue. I was still trying to fix this problem. And I realized that this podcaster was in defense mode. And I talked to several of my mentors at the time. And I was like, “What do I do?” Like, I obviously didn’t do this intentionally. I hired a jackrabbit of a person who decided that was okay. And there – I don’t even know, I don’t even know how that was okay, that it was not okay. And basically, I was advised that it’s probably not smart. They’re the podcast and the podcaster; they’re in defense mode, and they’re not going to hear you. They’re going to see you talking at them, but they’re not going to hear you. And I was mortified. I was embarrassed. I do not copy people. That is not my M.O. I don’t stand for that. And this podcaster took to their airwaves with a special episode that just destroyed me before I ever got started. Thankfully, they didn’t name me, but it wasn’t hard to figure out who I was, and that kept me playing small for a really long time. I was so ashamed that I could align myself with a horrible human web developer who had a moral compass that was upside down. Who felt that it was okay to go out and clone somebody else’s website and put it on mine in a live format. It was awful. It was embarrassing. It was humiliating, and I hadn’t even started yet. And to be publicly attacked. I had to just take it. They weren’t going to hear me out. So I’ve been on that receiving end, and I’ve played small because of it. I don’t like confrontation. I know what cancel culture is, and it’s not fun to be on the receiving end of it.
So, anyways, it’s taken me a long time to get through that and to get over that and to realize that I didn’t do that on purpose. There was no intention for me to do something like that. I had legitimately provided multiple websites to that developer with things I liked on how other podcasters were functioning at the time, and he just put that out the window. And, yeah, it’s followed me for a really long time. I’ve kept it close to me, really, for a really long time. And it’s kept me playing small because I don’t want to ever go through that again. It was awful. It was absolutely awful. Very traumatizing. So I know what it’s like to be on that receiving end, and it’s not pleasant.
So I went to Facebook, and – to crowdsource – and I gave the backstory, and I asked the question, I want you to weigh in below. And just know that I might quote you, so keep it PG. And my questions were, where did this entitlement come from? When did it become okay? Or maybe I should say, publicly acceptable to act this way? Why did we make it okay? How do we fix it? And here are the responses I received. Sierra says, “I just don’t understand being mean. Like, what did this mean girl stand to gain from all of this? It doesn’t bode well.” Rebecca said, “a lot of people kind of just suck, huh?” Pedro, “my daughter is essentially being bullied by a boy at school because they have different beliefs. She turned to her friends for support, and one asked her the other day why she stirs up drama. She has screenshots to prove the maliciousness, but because the beliefs of the crowd are largely his in a Christian school, they think my daughter is just stirring the pot.” Lynn writes, “same thing happened to me.” Bethany writes, “why be mean? That is all. My biggest concern is that I neglect people but no attacking. It’s pretty unnecessary. We all have plenty of strife to juggle. Unpopular opinion, but I think quote-unquote, reality TV is fueling far more of this behavior than social media. Also, heart you for defending those who deserve it.” Julie writes, “my personal experience and that which I gained by being a middle school/high school teacher for 14 years, are that most people who bully are doing it because they are unhappy with themselves. When they get called out for it, they deny it or bully even more because now they have something else to feel bad about, and they deal by projecting. Unfortunately, it’s a tough cycle to break once it’s started. Social media provides a curtain for a lot of people that for some reason gives them the balls to do and say things they wouldn’t do and say in a face-to-face situation.” Tiffany writes, “general lack of decorum it just isn’t taught or expected the way it used to be.” Jennifer writes, “I can’t wait to listen to this podcast. It frustrates me when I get asked for something above and beyond, and when I don’t comply, get considered difficult for saying no or putting restriction on my time, contribution, etc. So many people I’ve encountered lately view my unwillingness to be taken advantage of as being mean, or difficult, or not a team player. Suzy writes, “I think it’s gotten more okay because the more it’s tolerated, the bolder people get. No consequences other than that, I’ve hurt someone’s feelings or ruined her reputation. No biggie. At least I can feel superior. I agree with Julie that social media provides a curtain to hide behind. I’m not sure how to stop it other than, no matter what someone says to or about you, be kind back. Having studied anger, I think it’s at the root of a lot of our ills, anger, and unmet expectations. I was bullied by a high school girl on a school bus when I was in fifth or sixth grade. When I saw the movie The Bridge to Terabithia a few years ago, it reminded me of my own situation. In the movie, the bully girl had lost a parent, I think, and when the younger girl understood that, she befriended the bully, and the bully stopped the bad behavior. If we try to see the world through the other person’s perspective and treat her or him with kindness, it can change the relationship in ways we never could have imagined.” Laura writes, “in my opinion extremes in thinking have a whole lot more to do with a lack of empathy.” Linda writes, #gladI’m65. Kirsten writes, “dude, I had a run-in with someone this week, the most horribly rude emails I’ve ever received. I feel like there’s just this sense that there are no repercussions. We can say what we want from behind the screen and who cares? Except it matters. There are repercussions. This person burned a bridge with me, and she runs in the spaces where I have a lot of influence. Sometimes the consequences become mob mentality. I’m always scared, I’ll take someone off, and they’ll go write one-star reviews on all my books. I’ve honestly been watching for that this week after the interaction. I don’t know there is a fix. culture has slipped this way, and social media encourages the mob mentality.” Julie writes, “in my opinion, the lack of consequences and inability to confirm what someone is saying it gives people permission to say and do as they please online. If one person sends me a nasty message, I can write a post about all the nasty people DMing me, and my followers have no way of knowing that it was actually only one person. And now my followers are all riled up and on the defensive because they worry I, who they may idolize, is being attacked. I also think about technology in the greater sense, beyond social media. There used to be three or four main channels to watch on TV, so those networks had to create something that appealed to the broadest range of people. And you had something in common with your neighbor or co-worker because you probably were all watching the same thing on TV on Friday night. Then we added more channels, then more, and pretty soon, a show only needed to appeal to a niche audience to stay on the air. So you could create something that appealed to a small but very specific group of people. And that niche audience became really protective of their show. And that protectiveness became territorial. And with that, groups started arguing, “my show x is better than yours.” I truly believe it wasn’t malicious. But when you can hide behind a screen, it intensifies. And then it’s not just TV shows you become almost possessive about. It’s public figures and politics and sports teams. And so then people have very little in common to start conversations. And we – when we stop having conversations, it’s very easy to consider others as evil people because we actually don’t take the time to get to know anyone anymore. We judge them based on whichever affiliations they have.” Suzanne writes, “oh girl, I hear you. I’m so over the hate and negative words everywhere. Seriously, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything. I’ve begun staying off social media as much as possible except for business. Good for you for sticking up for your friend. The world needs more of that.” TJ writes, “I feel like this has been going on out in the open pre-social media. However, social media and technology has made the open part of it out in the open broader with greater reach. In turn, that means the platforms get more support. The mean people no longer acknowledge the fact that they can be wrong and address that part of their actions because they have support everywhere. Also, the lack of consequences means people are encouraged to continue the bad behaviors. Sometimes I think calling people out has a bigger impact than calling in. If they are willing to go public with the misdeed, they should be publicly called out about it. It’s the actions they pay attention to and don’t respect the grace they are given when being called in. Lack of maturity and a lack of self-awareness means the point of maybe I was wrong is missed. Glad you stuck up for your friend. I would consider the value of the public support, too. You may take away some of her platform followers, meaning people who believe the mistruth – not followers in an Instagram sense – the impact of the lies and right the course for the attack person. Think of the public endorsement and its impact. Those who follow the Mean Girls only follow if they are popular. Shifting the dynamic of who/what belief is popular may go a long way and taking back the public culture and decorum.” Connie writes, “I agree that without consequence, the rules are simply suggestions. People exist that own businesses by building their business bashing and undermining others. Social media has allowed this type of behavior to hide in a screen. Over time this type of business will cause harm to their own reputation. In a world where there is enough for everyone, kindness should be the rule.” Megan writes, “I think I know exactly what this is. She was absolutely awful. The part that got me the most angry was that she was rallying her followers to hate influencers, like she was somehow above such behavior, and then to throw shade at another great person who is just running her business authentically and how she sees fit. The fact of the matter is if people push back on their statements of yours, and they’re all saying the same thing, you should probably check yourself. There is a difference between criticism and trolling. If you’re going to put out negative opinions, then be prepared to have conversations. I could go on and on about this.” Alex wrote, “I don’t know when it became acceptable to lie, to slander, and disrespect others shamelessly. I see it more and more. Somewhere along the line, too often, parents are neglecting to teach and to show by example, what better way good manners, compassion, and respect for others. Being gracious and considerate of others will never become outdated.” Talia writes, “I agree with all of this. Collectively, people have become so emboldened and ugly. For me, I’ve never liked conflict or confrontation. I’ve grown more and more stressed by the hate. I tend to crawl back into my shell rather than engage. At the same time, I don’t want to be silent when such huge issues are involved. If I didn’t need social media to promote my books, my brand, I would probably get off. And like Kirsten wrote, I worry people will post hateful reviews just to harm.” Debbie writes, “having lived in the public domain for 30 plus years, I know firsthand how some people feel they have the right to publicly criticize. All too often, it’s an attack on you personally, rather than the task or job you’re doing. It’s a bully mentality I cannot abide. When it’s against a friend or family member, it can be even more difficult to remain silent. However, I have learned, much to everything that goes against my grain, to refrain from returning with like comments. Generally, that only feeds the irrational fire. I appreciate the way you stood up to this influencer. There’s already too much meanness and hate in the world.” Rita wrote, “I’m just proud because you stood up for your friend and are trying to make a difference. I’m just afraid to even express any of my feelings on social media because of that very same thing. God bless you.” Suzy’s chimed back in and said also, “by the way, I just reread your original post again because that behavior still baffles me, and two more thoughts come to mind. One, if I were a social media follower of that person, I would run, not walk, to the unfollow button. It goes to character. Two, anyone who would cheer her on for that type of reaction is to be pitied. People’s heads aren’t screwed on right. Someone needs to have a come to Jesus meeting with her/them. My pastor always has three bullet points, so here’s my third. Three, we need to pray for them and for ourselves, that we’ll always be kind and think before speaking.”
I appreciate every single one of you that chimed in because I’m at a point where it’s like, where does it stop? Where did we make it okay for this type of behavior? I understand when we feel wronged, we’re quick to take to a platform. But when you begin bashing someone because you don’t see the full story, why are we judging the 60 seconds that we supposedly see? We have to look at the bigger picture. So, what an interesting weekend, my friends, and I hope that we can have an ongoing conversation, and I hope this spurs how you might react or act towards another human being, or maybe you’ll think twice before taking an attack public. And I do think there’s got to be more conversation that is had and not necessarily publicly. I don’t think that publicly having conversations is always the solution either. And having first witnessed – and that’s not the only instances that I’ve seen, there was another person that I was a big follower of and realized after a time and had been a while that I hadn’t seen her online and in forever and I went hunting, and she was the result of being canceled. And I had to dive even further into seeing what happened because, of course, then I’m curious. And wow, the cancel culture.
So this was food for thought. This was bringing awareness to the cancel culture and entitlement. The entitlement I see on social media is absurd. Absolutely absurd. The – just the tremendous amount of entitlement on social media and the way people respond if you’re not quick to respond back. Like, legitimately, you’ve got to realize people have lives. We’re not always connected. We don’t always have our phones in our hands. We shouldn’t. Maybe that’s where we go off course is we basically take time off of social media. Put the phones down, create relationships in person. So I hope this brought some food for thought for you because what I experienced this weekend, what I personally experienced in my own world, related to this, it’s gotta stop. We have to figure out how to stop it because it’s just gaining momentum.
Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode. Again, shout out to today’s show sponsor, Gusto. Again, you’re going to get three months free. All you got to do is go to gusto.com/bossgirl to give it a try. I will be back next week with another episode of the Boss Girl Creative podcast. Until then, I hope you have a great rest of your week.