Episode #275: When Life Throws You a Curveball
TAYLOR BRADFORD: You are listening to episode number 275 of the Boss Girl Creative podcast. Today I’m talking about when life throws you a curveball and the steps to take to get past it. On to the episode.
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Hey, welcome to episode number 275. I am Taylor Bradford, your host of the Boss Girl Creative podcast. I’m excited that you’re here. And we’re gonna be talking about curveballs because Holy Moly life threw me one at the end of last week, which is why we’re talking about this. And before I dive in, I want to just do a quick reminder. I do have a text messaging community. Now, if you want to sign up, all you got to do is send me a text to this number: 817-587-1978. Just simply say, hey Taylor, and then follow the prompts. And yes, for real, it is me. This is a great way to stay in the loop with Boss Girl Creative, and you’ll get a text for me every Wednesday, letting you know about the latest episode, and then also anytime I feel like sending you some love through text and cheerleading and support. So 817-587-1978. If you’re outside the US, just add a plus one to the front, and you will be connected. Just send me a message saying, “Hey, Taylor,” and then I will respond back with some prompts. And then I will personally send you a message.
Okay, so let’s dive into the curveball. So, my personal curveball is the fact that I actually lost my day job last week, late last week, and kind of came out of left field, and my whole crew was shut down. So it wasn’t that I was doing anything wrong, thankfully. And but it was definitely out of left field. And for the time being, it doesn’t look like we will be brought back on for work through the rest of the year. And so it looks like I will have basically all of the rest of September, I should say, and then all of fourth quarter to figure something out. So if I get brought back on in at the beginning of 2021, great. If not, I’m really hoping that I can get some legs under the things that I’ve been working on for several months, basically since Corona.
So that’s my curveball, which is why we are talking about ten steps to take when a curveball is thrown at you. And these ten steps are coming out of an article from Daring to Live Fully. So first off, let me just say, a curveball is going to happen to you sooner or later. And curveballs are just probably tests to see if we’re going to chase it in another direction if we’re going to swing at it. It’s literally something that’s supposed to throw us through a loop, something we’re not prepared for, and I’ve read articles where people are like, oh, but you can plan for the curveballs. No, I don’t really think you can truly plan for the curveballs. You might be able to prep, but I don’t know that you can actually truly plan. Like, did anyone truly plan for a pandemic to happen in 2020? No, I don’t think so. And the health people of the world would say we weren’t prepared. So while everybody always has good intentions for being prepared, the truth of the matter is, most of the time, we are not prepared when curveballs happen. So curveballs can come in many shapes and sizes, whether it be getting let go from your day job, or maybe your boss says he’s retiring and you are the one that has been groomed for the job, yet the powers that be decide that somebody on the outside is better suited, and it doesn’t go to you or maybe you’ve been in a relationship for a while, and you’re expecting a proposal, but then it’s actually a breakup instead. And like literally, curveballs can come from anywhere. But it’s how you actually deal with the curveball. That’s your game changer. So let’s get into these steps.
Step number one is not over-generalizing the actual situation. Your life isn’t over. You will achieve more things. I promise you aren’t doomed to fail all the time. To keep with the baseball analogy, the fact that you’ve struck out doesn’t mean you are out of the game; you are simply out until the next time you’re up at-bat. Because there’s always going to be another inning, there’s always going to be another game; there’s always going to be another chance. You could lose your confidence. You could lose your spirit. I’m not going to lie; the overwhelm that I was beginning to feel was legit. Or you could stand at home plate when it’s your time to bat again, set your stance, and swing like you’ve never swung before.
Step number two: Get some perspective. Here is a story about the farmer and the horse. And I’m sure you’ve heard this story before, but I’m going to repeat it to you. A farmer lost his horse. All the neighbors said how awful, but the farmer simply replied, “Could be bad, could be good. Don’t know yet.” Then the horse returned with a stallion. Now the neighbor said how wonderful for you. But the farmer replied, “Could be bad, could be good. Don’t know yet.” A few days later, the farmer’s son was riding the stallion; he fell off and broke his leg. Once again, the neighbors chimed in. That’s terrible news. But the farmer just told them, “Could be bad, could be good. Don’t know yet.” That weekend the country went to war, and the generals went from village to village taking young men to fight in the war. They didn’t take the farmer’s son since his leg was broken. The neighbors all expressed how lucky the farmer was that his son had broken his leg since now he didn’t have to go to war and risk being killed. But the farmer simply said, “Could be bad, could be good. Don’t know yet.” You’ve got to gain some perspective over the curveball. Take a step back. And let me tell you, sometimes that’s not easy right in the moment. Like, literally, I’m on the phone with my boss, and he says like you’re taking this really well. And I was in the middle of ironing some napkins, and I knew I had somewhere to be within a couple of hours, and that was literally my focus in that moment. And I didn’t have – like what was I supposed to say? Like, was I supposed to react? Was I supposed to cry? Was I supposed to yell at him? Was I supposed to like – no, that’s – none, none of those are me as a person. And I’ve dealt with so many blows in my life, that, you know what, like, I’m just chalking this up to this moment in time is meant to be this moment in time, and I’m just going to make the best of it. Like I – if I give you a reaction to make you feel bad about letting me go. Like it’s not your fault. It wasn’t because I was a bad worker. So yeah, I like I was like, Well, I don’t know, like, How am I supposed to be responding? I can’t change this for you. Like, I mean, in truth, he’s gonna have to figure this out. He’s the broker that works and is contracted to this company, and the company didn’t manage the budget very well, or there was some miscommunication. I’m not really sure. And what it – what that results in is us getting completely cut because there is no more money. Supposedly. There’s always money but budgeted. It’s a completely different story. So get some perspective over your curveball. I can’t change this outcome. It happened. Will I get more work in the future? I’m certain, but now I got to figure out how do I put legs under the things that I’ve been working so hard on to get off the ground. You can’t predict the future. You just have to work with what you’ve got.
Number three: Practice acceptance. I basically had already accepted the fact that I just lost my job while I was on the phone. I mean, again, I can’t change it, when you wish for things to be different in the future. But you have to accept things as they are right now. Like, we can all wish the curveballs didn’t happen. But if we don’t accept them for now, we’re going to have a really hard time picking ourselves up and moving forward.
Number four: Decrease your egos involvement. And let me tell you in the past, I did have trouble with my ego because I had been skipped over for Certain things, and that sucks. And your ego starts talking to you like, how dare they do this to me? Don’t they know who I am? They’ll be sorry that they did this. You have to remove your ego out of the equation. You have no idea what their role was like in getting to that moment. And it most likely isn’t because of you. You weren’t necessarily the one that became the non-answer. There just may have been a better solution that didn’t involve you thinking those types of thoughts and those types of like, angry thoughts, consumes so much energy, and literally will destroy you and your mental aptitude. Basically, it’s not helpful. Your mindset will be destroyed if you continue down that pathway.
Number five: Meditate or write in your gratitude list or say affirmations. Get yourself into a moment of finding joy, even in the toughest moments, even if it’s not laughter, even if it’s just reaching for a candy bar or calling up your BFF and just literally crying to her over the phone, like, whatever it’s going to do like to raise your vibrations to bring some kind of level of joy into your life that will take you out of all of that despair. So meditate. Write your gratitude, say affirmations, anything to pull you out of that negative energy. Even if it’s two levels above that negative energy, that’s still better energy than the negative that you’re sitting in.
Number six: You’ve got to ask the right question. So what are the right questions? Well, let’s start with the wrong questions. First, the wrong questions to ask yourself are, Why did this happen to me? Why would they do that? Why didn’t I get it? Like, that’s blaming yourself. You got to stop asking those questions. So here’s the questions. You’ve got to ask, what do I need to get through this? That’s literally the first question I asked myself. All right, let’s go back to the drawing board. Let’s look at everything that you’ve put into motion, and how can we get them off the ground? What will get me what I want? You got to reevaluate your situation. What is it that you really want? What will get you what you want? What is the solution? And what can I learn from this? Obviously, there’s not a lot that I can learn from losing a job that had no reflection on my actual work product. So that’s not a question I should be asking. I should be asking, “What do I need to get through this? I need X amount of dollars a month. What will get me what I want? I need to put legs under the businesses that I’ve been working hard to create, and what is my solution to do the work?”
Number seven: Shift your focus to the positive. I say this a lot: negative begets negative, and you can’t live there. It will destroy you. It will destroy lots of things. So you’ve got to shift your focus to the positive no matter what.
Number eight: Mourn the failure or the loss, and then get on with your life. You have to feel the feelings. And there was a moment where I could feel overwhelmed knocking at my door and overwhelmed brings tears, overwhelmed brings anxiety for me, overwhelmed does a lot of things to my body that I don’t like. And I could feel that knocking I could feel that coming on. And I had to give myself just a moment to acknowledge those emotions and then push them right back where they came from because I don’t have time to do that. But let me say it is okay for you to experience those emotions if you need to mourn something, the loss of a job or the loss of promotion or whatever it is, give yourself a timeline for how long you will do those things, indulge in whatever it is that you need to do, and then move on and be grateful for everything in your life including the fact that you are a living human being.
Number nine: Anchor yourself to the future. That’s literally what I did. Did the curveball set your goals off track? Absolutely. It literally just extinguished a large amount of money. But I have to reset my goals and get to work, to go back out and get that money. Because I know I can. I’m equipped to do exactly that. So I need you to anchor yourself in the future when a curveball happens because you will get back to where you are. Yes, it’s a setback. Yes, it sucks. It’s going to happen to all of us. But reevaluate your goals, set a new game plan, and get back to work.
And then finally, number 10: Focus on the things that you can actually control. I can’t control when the election – whatever is going to happen with the election – because that is also something that is working up against why my crew was shut down. It’s a very loaded election. Can we – if we get past that and whatever result happens – can we move forward? That’s a major possibility. If we can get through November, our crew might be rehired in December, or we may need to wait till January and February when budgets are re-visited. I can’t focus on what I can’t control. I don’t know when there might be work.
What I can focus on is the things I do have control over. I have Boss Girl Creative, which I’m working really hard at creating some things and setting up myself to be able to make more money from Boss Girl Creative because this isn’t a hobby, you guys. I’ve got to make money from this for it to keep making sense. I’ve got to put my time, where people are valuing me, and my skill set and my brain, and I’ve got to focus on that I have to grow that Boss Girl Creative has to make money. I’ve got Sugar Creek Creative and Sugar Creek Event Rentals and Sugar Creek Collective, and now The Studio at Sugar Creek with the new membership of SOCIAL Subscription. I’ve got these things that are sitting there – literally most of them are already working, but some of them are brand new ideas that I’ve launched since Corona, and now it’s time for me to literally invest all of my time and energy and the resources that I have, and get these things moving and grooving. And literally, when my boss comes back to me and says, hey, we’ve got work again, there’s a big probability that I can say, you know what, I’m busy. I’m busy doing the things that I absolutely love doing, and they are bringing me the money that I lost. That’s the end goal for me. The end goal for me is to completely replace that income with Sugar Creek and with Boss Girl Creative. And if this is now the time – because it wasn’t on my timeline – but if this is now the time that I do that, then this is the time that I buckled down, and I do just that. So when life throws you a curveball, take it and run with it and follow these steps.
Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode. Again, shout out to this week’s show sponsor, which again is the Inner Circle membership, and I know you want to be a part of it. So get yourself in bossgirlcreative.com/InnerCircle. I will be back next week with another episode of the Boss Girl Creative podcast. Until then, I hope you have a great rest of your week.