Episode #268: There’s Always an Option B
TAYLOR BRADFORD: You are listening to episode number 268 of the Boss Girl Creative podcast. Today I’m talking about choosing option B. On to the episode.
Hey, welcome to episode number 268 of the Boss Girl Creative podcast. I’m your host, Taylor Bradford. Thank you so much for pressing play. Today, I will be talking about choosing option B, which is basically creating resiliency in your life and building resiliency. This is something that can be built. And if the pandemic has showed us anything, it has showed us that we are resilient, we can be resilient, even in some of life’s hardest moments, and that is what I will be talking about today.
Before I dive in, this episode is sponsored by my Inner Circle community, which is where I’ve been hanging out a whole lot more. So, if you want to be a part of that, you’re going to have to get yourself in for as little as $10 a month, and that gets you access into the community and a part of the Facebook group. And also, it gives you access to the resource library and a monthly live Q&A session with me and your fellow Inner Circle members. Level Two is $25 a month, and that unlocks you receiving a Boss Girl Creative mug, plus a handwritten thank you note from me, and access to my template library and office hours on Wednesdays where you can send me audio through my Voxer channel and I can get back to you and help you with whatever you’re struggling with or need advice on. And also, every three months at this level, you get a one-on-one 30-minute strategy session with me. And then Level Three is $100 a month, and that gives you a one-on-one 60-minute session with me every single month plus everything else that is a part of the Inner Circle community. So what are you waiting on? This is where the action is happening. I am helping the ladies in the Inner Circle move their businesses forward. It’s been amazing. It’s been life-giving, especially for me in Corona times, and that’s where the magic’s happening, so pop over to bossgirlcreative.com/innercircle to get yourself in right now.
Okay, you guys, before I dive into some life updates that kind of fall into this whole option B scenario that I’m going to be talking about today. I have to say that I popped over to Apple Podcasts to see if there have been any recent reviews, and I was literally brought to tears by this most recent review, and it is subject: “In my top 10 favorite podcasts.” I wish I could attribute the review to someone that’s a listener. I don’t know who you are, but you made my day with this review. It says, “Taylor, your podcast fits right into my glove. I truly enjoy all of your content. I love your backstory on how you got to where you are today. Your story is truly a learning journey, and I never would have imagined that you accomplished all of those different styles of business. Thank you so much for offering content on real, genuine, and necessary topics that empower new and veteran business owners. Even as a product-based business owner, I find your advice truly helpful and actionable. I’ll keep listening as long as you keep producing.” You made my day whomever you are. I-that just truly You made my day. I literally stopped in my tracks and felt so much love from this one review. So thank you to whoever you are. Again, you made my day with your review. If you haven’t had a chance to actually rate and review the show through Apple Podcasts, I would love for you to do that. That helps other fellow female unconventional business owners find the show.
Okay, so life updates and how they relate to today’s episode. So I just did a branding session this past week and received the photos last night at like 12:30 this morning – midnight. And the photographer, her name is Trish with Beatbox Portraits, just always blows me out of the water with how many photos she sends over in a gallery and I had the biggest smile on my face, looking at every single one of those photos. So I did a branding session, but I also have my best friend who is also my business partner with Ivory and Ink participate as well, and we got a lot of really great content for Ivory and Ink, which is so incredibly exciting. But it was also so incredibly fun to do a branding session with your best friend. Like, I was like, let’s pile on to this couch, let’s pop the bubbly, and let’s get some photos. And that was probably my favorite part of the branding session, honestly. So if you have an opportunity to do a branding session, bring your best friend, get some photos together, capture those memories, and I’m telling you, you will not regret it. So this week is all been about prepping for my warehouse reveal party, which is in two days as I’m recording this, so I’m super excited about that. I have been doing more contemplating about YouTube. Honestly, the biggest hurdle I have right now is actually slowing down and making an effort to record. I did this yesterday. I was like, Okay, I’m going to record this will call coming back in. And then I got side-I got sidetracked because a piece came back broken. And then I’m like, okay, what’s the protocol? What’s my standard operating procedure with this, my SOP, and I just-I interrupted my own video, which I’ve got to be more mindful and thoughtful, and I got to slow down if I’m going to create content for this YouTube channel. We are officially closing on our construction loan for our house this week as well. This week has got so many things. It’s amazing how busy this week has turned out to be with all of the fun things. And update on Ivory and Ink. It looks like our phase two is about ready to test, which has been a godsend. Honestly, we’ve been struggling with our team, and we’re actually going to be hiring a new team to help us create and craft phase three and moving on from our existing team, there’s, again, this pandemic has really made things challenging for us. And anyways, so we have phase two should be rolling out soon, we’re going to be testing it, and it’ll probably be just a silent rollout of the thing. And which is our curation phase where you can actually hire a style curator to help you curate your wedding style, which is really amazing. Think Havenly for interior design, we are doing that in the wedding world, and that is rolling out soon. And then all of the businesses that I keep coming up with. I’m actually going to be, well I’m not going to be, I am working on another business concept that will hopefully be rolling out in September. I need to meet with a photographer friend to iron out some details, but ultimately, I will be creating a monthly kind of branding social subscription, where you will be able to pay a monthly fee and have access to two photoshoot days in a month. And you can come in and get photos taken that are unedited. So you will be able to receive a gallery within 48 hours of unedited photos for your brand that you can edit into your own style, put your filters on, whatever you want to do. So that is in the works. So if you are in the DFW Metroplex, I will be launching that in September. And so I’m working, I’m fine-tuning the details, I’m working things out. But yet another business that I have created during COVID. I’m telling you what you guys, there’s lots of opportunities here, and that’s all about how we frame our mindsets.
Which brings me to option B. And I want to talk first about kind of where this has come from. So I’ve been reading a book. It’s a fiction book by Dee Ernst. And it’s, it’s kind of a romance, kind of chick-lit fiction. It’s not nonfiction. I’m not reading this to be educated. I’m reading this as an escape, and it’s called better off without him. And there was a moment in the book recently that literally kind of summed up things in my own world. And this is the quote, so she’s talking about losing her dad and then losing her mom and what that was like. And her parents lived in Florida, and it’s very kind of similar to my own. I haven’t, I absolutely have not lost my dad, but I have lost my mom. I did lose my mom when I was 24. So I’m 39. So that’s been quite a period of time. But I was living in Texas when I lost my mom, and I’m from Arkansas. But this is what I quoted from her, “On a day to day basis. I barely missed her. It was knowing that she was no longer part of my physical universe that broke my heart.” And I can’t tell you how that spoke to me. I can’t put it in words, which is kind of where this rabbit hole came for me, and this option B, “Choose to happen to life, not let life happen to you.” Losing my mom at the age of 24, and losing my brother at the age of 30, losing two people in my core family unit, so it is literally me and my dad. Losing two people was so hard, but hard in the sense that I wasn’t really close to either one of them because I was in Texas, and my brother was younger, and we fought like cats and dogs growing up. We didn’t have a lot in common where we were talking all the time. And my mom the same thing. And this quote basically sums up that experience for me. That because they weren’t a part of my day-to-day, but knowing that they weren’t in my universe, that’s where heartbreak is. That’s the profound loss that I have experienced. Because I wasn’t a part of their day-to-day and their struggles. I didn’t have that kind of relationship where that loss happened to me in a way that happened to like my dad. Or losing my mom, my brother came after, but my brother experienced my mom’s death a whole lot differently than I did because he still lived at home and experienced that day in and day out with her cancer that ultimately took her. But knowing that they aren’t in mind universe, that’s the heartbreaking part. But in all reality, and this is probably my mindset and my personality, I didn’t have a choice but to pick myself back up and just go forward. I couldn’t let myself be hung up with grief. And honestly, I didn’t grieve for my mom, like truly go through the grief process for years and same with my brother. For years. I can’t bring either of them back. I don’t have room to dwell. I can’t change the outcome. The only way forward is to move forward. It was to pick myself up and move forward and to not dwell in that loss, but it’s not taking away from the loss. The loss is still very, very real, but I had an option B. I had an option to choose to move forward.
So I always think that things are placed in my path for reasons, and reading this book came from me actually getting an advanced reader copy of one of Dee’s upcoming books, and then I was like, she’s a fabulous writer, I’m going to read something else. So I bought another book off of Amazon that she’d written, which is the one I’m currently reading. And then that moment in the book that just really sparked me and kind of gave me a definition for how I feel about losing my mom and losing my brother, and then contemplating on what this week’s podcast episode is going to be about and sitting down to my own personal library collection of nonfiction and realizing that I had never started Option B by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant and picking that book up not remembering what it was about, and then diving into it. And realizing how connected it was to this one moment in this book of having this option B.
Sheryl lost her husband, they were on a trip in Mexico, and her husband died of a cardiac disease. And ultimately, his heart stopped, and nobody was around him for quite some time, he’d gone to the gym to work out. And she talks about building resiliency after that tragic loss, and they had two really young kids at the time. And that is what Option B is all about, the book, about building resiliency and how Sheryl worked through her grief, and where she was able to find footholds to move forward. And how much option B even relates to COVID and what we’ve been experiencing with this pandemic. This pandemic has felt like an utter loss of such a momentous start to 2020. Like, we were all super excited, it’s a brand-new decade. We are, you know, building these things and I came out of the gate, doing really well in all of my businesses and then BAM in March, everything shuts down. And it feels like this utter loss.
So how can we work to build our resiliency? Resiliency is the ability to recover and bounce back from hardships and adversity, which has been this pandemic. This pandemic has brought so many hardships for people. And I know this has been kind of this train of thought that I’ve been on with the podcasts over the last few weeks, but I feel like these are foundational episodes. I feel like this is part of even my Pillar series. If you haven’t had a chance to listen to the 8+1 Pillar series that I put together many, many weeks ago, this is part of building that foundation. We have to support ourselves in order to do any kind of forward movement. So we have to be resilient, and we have to build our resilience because it is something that can be built.
So resilient people. Here are some common traits with resilient people: They’re able to roll with the punches. They can improvise in situations that call for improvisation. They are able to deal with perceived adverse situations in a positive and creative way. They can transform challenges into opportunities. They have a keen ability to accept reality, and they have a deep belief that life is meaningful, even when it’s hard. All of these qualities are crucial to thrive in our current situation in this pandemic. Not just to survive it, but thrive in it.
So what are the keys to building resiliency? Building positive thoughts into your day. Creating a gratitude journal that you can write in or put into your phone. Remind yourself what your strengths are. Remind yourself of what you’ve accomplished thus far. Create daily affirmations so that you’re constantly being reminded of positive things. So I’m currently doing that on my phone, and actually, I’m really excited today because I have my first session with an affirmation coach. And so, I use my reminder app on my phone to help set my mindset to bring positivity into my life every single day at the same time. So here are my affirmations and my phone as of right now. “I am a Money Magnet.” “Money is energy and endlessly flows to me and through me.” “I have a steady stream of perfect clients who pay my full rates and book on the spot.” “I’m excited for what this day will bring.” “Everything is working out for the greatest possible good and in my favor.” “The best is yet to come.” “I am filled with unconditional love and overflowing with joy.” “I am so proud of everything I have accomplished.” “My greatest desires are on their way to me.” So I have this reminder, this list, it goes off every morning around nine In the morning. And the purpose of affirmations is to reframe your mindset first of all, but also to kind of give yourself a check. And when you say affirmations, you have to actually put a lot of feeling into them as if they are happening, which is the power of affirmations. So, build positive thoughts into your day.
Another key is to find your purpose, and I know that can be really hard in this pandemic, but what is your purpose? What do you want your purpose to be? Finding that will help you be resilient in adversity. Develop your network with supportive people and work on your relationships to foster them. Make an effort. It is so incredibly important to have a network of friends that are supportive in hard times and good times. You have to nurture those friendships. Work on your problem-solving skills. When something pops up—that is a challenge—I challenge you to make a list of how you can solve it and experiment through those ways to get to the result you’re looking for. Work on your problem-solving skills. Create weekly and daily goals. So in the Inner Circle community, I am asking weekly, what are your top three goals for the week? What do you want to accomplish? The top three things that you want to accomplish this week to make this week feel like a win, and I’m going to hold you accountable to them. Setting goals helps you move forward. It keeps you trucking along.
Overcoming the three Ps. Now the three Ps are coming out of the book, Option B, which are actually part of Martin Seligman and his psychology, positive psychology, movement. I believe that’s what that was.
So the three P’s are personalization: this was my fault. This pandemic was nobody’s fault. Nobody’s fault. Pervasiveness: this affects everything. Yeah, the pandemic is affecting everything. So we think it’s not truly affecting everything, though, is it? And permanence: nothing will ever be the same again. Um, yeah, your normal will come back. It might be a new normal, but we will get on the other side of this and create a normal that feels normal.
And finally, pay attention to joy and record those moments. I want you to be able to reflect back on all of the joy that you were able to find, so when it happens, I want you to record it, and I want you to notate it. When I received my branding photoshoot gallery this morning while I was still awake, I had such pure joy looking through every one of those photos. Such pure joy because it reminded me of that day. It reminded me of my friendship and my strong connection to my best friend. It reminded me that we’re not in this alone, and it brought me so much joy. Pay attention to it. Let it help you be resilient.
Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode. Again, shout out to this week’s show sponsor which is the Inner Circle community of Boss Girl Creative. Get yourself in there. Join today. Visit bossgirlcreative.com/innercircle. I will be back next week with another episode of the Boss Girl Creative podcast. Until then, I hope you have a great rest of your week.