Episode #267: You Are Not Starting Over
TAYLOR BRADFORD: You are listening to episode number 267 of the Boss Girl Creative podcast. Today I’m talking about not starting over even when it feels like that’s the only thing we should be doing. On to the episode.
0:17
Today’s episode is brought to you by my Inner circle community, and I just have to share a recent note from one of my Inner Circle community members that just actually brought me to tears. It was so incredibly kind and thoughtful. And this is the power of what the inner circle community is all about. This is what she had to say y’all. I had a coaching session with Taylor earlier today, and I’m blown away by her creativity and generosity. She really is an unconventional business unicorn who has a ton of knowledge and pushes me outside of my comfort zone. I’ve been a member of the BDC inner circle and can’t believe what we get for such a small investment #notsponsored. I didn’t tell Taylor I was going to sing her praises today, but she’s pretty great. And thank you so much to Mrs. Miller on Fire for that super kind review. And y’all, the Inner Circle is my gift to you as a community member of this community. And you can gain access to the Inner Circle for as little as $10 a month and what that unlocks is access into this private community. Plus, you receive access to my resource library that I am continually adding to, and you also receive access to a monthly live Q&A session where I answer your burning questions or give feedback or whatever it is that you are wanting to hear me speak about. At the next level, its $25 a month, and that unlocks you receiving a Boss Girl Creative mug plus a thank you note from me. And it also unlocks my template library plus a weekly office hours where you can ask me questions every Wednesday through the Office Hours platform, and I’m using my Voxer channel and every three months that you are subscribed at that level, you receive a 30-minute one-on-one coaching session. And then level three is $100 a month, and that gives you everything in level one and level two. And it also unlocks a 60-minute one-on-one session every single month with me for as long as you are at that level. So what are you waiting for? Pop over to bossgirlcreative.com/InnerCircle to join today.
2:59
Hey, welcome to episode number 267. I am your host, Taylor Bradford. Thank you so much for tuning into today’s episode, which is all about convincing you that you are not starting over with the pandemic or because of the pandemic. You are not starting over. This is just a blip in the road. And I need you, and myself because this is a benefit to me as well as a fellow business owner, I need all of us to reframe our mindsets because that is what is at play here. During COVID, it has been a super challenging time for me, both emotionally and physically, and mentally, like, all of the above. I’ve hired a counselor through the Better Help network, which you are also able to take advantage of. You’ll receive 10% off your first month of service. And you can do that through trybetterhelp.com/bossgirl. That’s T-R-Y-B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com/bossgirl to take advantage of that.
4:12
So I have hired a counselor to help me work through the anxiety and the stress that has been Coronavirus. I’ve also recently hired another coach that is more of a mindset and affirmation coach through Affirmation Addict. And it is something that I know that I am struggling with. Our last week was really, really hard on me, and I felt a couple of times that I had some near breaking points and where the anxiety is really, really weighing on me.
4:49
But, so I have been working really hard on my mindset, and I know because I’m a type one Enneagram. I am a controlling type of person. I like everything has to be planned. I have a checklist, I’ve got, you know, notes and things have to kind of go by the book, and I get really stressed when they don’t. And that’s just my personality, and so that’s why I’ve really struggled during this time of not being in control of my environment. And even though I’ve made some pivots and changes to make the best of the situation, to the best of my ability, it is still wearing on me that we are how many months and we are still have so many questions and I’m watching my fellow wedding vendors falling apart, and you know, them also trying to shore themselves up and watching businesses close and it’s really hard. It’s really, really hard. But I feel like we aren’t starting over we are literally – I, you know, I feel like we’re treading water and that’s uncomfortable because treading water can get really tiresome – but we’re not starting over, and we have to reframe our mindsets to go towards the fact that we’re not starting over.
6:13
So I was listening to a podcast episode, and the girl on the show was talking about this kind of scenario. And she asked this question, and that’s what I’m going to ask you. If everything that has happened to you, has actually happened for you, what would your next steps be? And that is why I feel we’ve got to reframe our mindsets so that we’re not feeling like we’re starting over. Corona has happened to all of us, not just one of us. And so when we truly aren’t starting over, this is literally just a stall moment. And how we move out of this stall moment is how we’re going to be setting ourselves up for next steps and growth and revenue and all of that.
7:13
So if everything that has happened to you, especially over the last few months, has actually happened for you, it’s been preparing you to be here right now in this moment, what would your next steps be? What does your community need from you? What should you be doing right now? What are your next steps? So I do feel like this is all mindset work. I do feel that while it is really hard to always be positive, we are human, and this time period totally sucks, let’s just be honest, but we have to to work on keeping our mindset on the positive, which is what last week’s episode was all about, the power of your attitude, the power of having that choice to choose to be positive. So we have to work on changing our mindset and believing that we all have something special to offer because let me tell you, you do have something special to offer. You are special in and of yourself, and you have to believe that. You have to change your mindset so that you are believing that because when I get feedback, such as what I read at the top of the show as part of the Inner Circle community, I know I am meant to be here, right now. I know that I’m doing exactly what I should be doing, which is supporting those that want more support from me, which you can get in the Inner Circle.
9:02
We also have to learn to change and pivot when we need to, especially in times where we are treading water. I feel like I’ve done a really good job of making adjustments and making some pivots happen within the Sugar Creek structure, even within Boss Girl with the Inner Circle. I want you to know as an Inner Circle member, that you are supported that I am supporting you, that I am your biggest cheerleader, and so my focus has been there. My focus has been on making sure you feel like you’re being supported and that you’re in a community that is safe where you can talk about your ideas and explore things. And that is what the Inner Circle is all about. But in moments of unknown, we have to learn how to make changes in our business, and we have to learn when it’s smart to pivot and what those pivots need to ultimately be supporting in our business because while pivoting is great, the right pivoting is what is the most important part.
10:20
We also have to believe in more abundance. We have to believe that there is an end to the pandemic. We have to believe that we aren’t just treading water for no reason. We have to believe there’s more money out there for us. We have to believe there are more opportunities out there for us. We are special. We have gifts. We have to believe that our gifts are there for a reason, and our clients are out there waiting to find us. We have to believe in more abundance. With that same token of believing and more abundance, we also have to be unapologetic about making money. We have to be unapologetic in our financial journey and making money. I am not apologetic about being in this Millionaire Club. I have worked really, really hard. Is it rosy on my side of the table? No. We’re in a Coronavirus pandemic. We are literally – I am literally spinning wheels at the moment, which is frustrating, and it’s affecting my mindset. Was it easier to get here? No. Am I celebrating these milestones? I am trying super hard. I, even right now, my husband is stressing me out and causing me anxiety because of the pandemic and because we are stalled and feeling that stall. And last night, I went to bed around 11 o’clock, and I really wanted to stay up and watch a couple of episodes of The Good Witch, which I have found on Netflix and I’ve watched a couple of episodes just here and there on the Hallmark Channel through the years, but I’ve never actually sat down and watched the season. And I just finished the Magnolia series on Netflix, which was amazing. I think it’s called Sweet Magnolias and I absolutely love that series. I hope they bring that back. It was the first season of that series. I watched all of The Babysitters Club series on Netflix as well. I am a child of the 80s and 90s. And I absolutely I created my own baby sitters club when those books came out. And that was such a delightful series, and I hope that there is a second season for that. Yes, I am 39 years old and watch The Babysitters Club series on Netflix, but I have no shame in that because that was a huge part of my childhood and probably the start of an entrepreneurial spirit if I have to be honest. And so I watched through that, and so now I’m on to The Good Witch, and – I think that’s what it’s called – anyways, it’s a great series. I’m not through the first season yet. I kind of binge-watched on Sunday. And so I wanted to watch some episodes last night before I went to sleep. And all this to say, my husband’s uncle came in kind of unexpectedly and so we have a guest in our home right now. And my husband’s like, don’t watch TV, people are trying to sleep, and I’m like, I mean, he’s still awake. What? So anyways, I went to sleep, and at three in the morning, I woke up and I could not go back to sleep. I was just – there’s a lot on my plate this week. I’ve got a branding photo shoot coming up on Wednesday. I’ve already set the space, but I have more branding shoots coming up for my fellow boss girls in the wedding industry in a couple of weeks, and I’m just wanting to make sure that I have everything – all my ducks in a row and everything. And so I couldn’t go back to sleep, and I ended up staying up till like five in the morning, almost six in the morning. And at one point, my husband got up, and he’s not been in a good mood lately, and it’s anxiety and stress and again, not having control and knowing where we were and what we on track for before Corona, and just things are adding up and his mindset is really affected. And he made a comment, why did you want to watch TV earlier? And I was like because I wanted to. Like, it’s kind of like my wind-down process. I either read a book, or if I’m watching a series, then that’s what I do. And I just said, “Why are you being so negative?” Like, where’s this coming from? And it’s literally just the anxieties piling up on him, and he’s taking it out on me, which isn’t great, but I am his spouse and for better or worse, and I’m trying to be supportive and trying to help him readjust his mindset which we had a conversation about today. But that made my anxiety go up even more because he starts talking about nonsense, and that just stresses me out. And so that’s why I was ultimately awake until six until I kind of like finally reframed my own mindset so I could go back to sleep and then I slept through an alarm, and here we are.
15:29
So we have to focus on believing in ourselves, and we are at where we were supposed to be and all that to say, being in that Millionaire Club. Like I’m not one, like my, that’s what my asset sheet is, but I still have the same struggles as you, but I’m not going to be apologetic in the fact that I’ve made it this far. That I have a millionaire balance sheet and that all of the hard work that I’ve put in over the last however many years has gotten us to now, but we still have the same struggles, we still have the same issues. So I, I’m not saying that to be a discouragement, but I’m just saying that this is real life. But we, we can’t be apologetic when we’re making money. We have to own it. We have to believe in ourselves, and we have to be our biggest fans. We cannot be afraid to share the full story, which is why I podcast. I want you to hear the ups, the downs, the wins, the losses, the highs, the lows. I want you to know that I am just as real as you are, that I have my own struggles, that I celebrate my wins, that I work through my losses. I work through those struggles. I want you to know that I am just as human as you are, and, but I believe in myself. I believe in my talents. I believe in who I am. We have to be our biggest fans.
17:10
We have to also continue to experiment and continue to learn. Whether that is watching a webinar, or picking up a book, hiring a coach, finding something that will allow you to continue to educate yourself, you cannot stop learning. If you want to be successful, you cannot stop learning. We also have to learn how to self-motivate. We have to practice that. We have to keep showing up for ourselves so that that becomes ingrained. That self-motivation becomes ingrained. We absolutely have to set boundaries for ourselves. We have to chart our milestones, and we have to celebrate the successes that we have. When you’re not solopreneur, you’re literally everything. You are your biggest cheerleader. You are your coach. You are your CEO. You are your employee. You are everything, and if we don’t set those boundaries, and if we don’t celebrate milestones, if we don’t have celebrations when something amazing happens, we’re going to just disrupt. And that is where structure comes into running a business. We have to have structure for ourselves. We have to know what our limits are. We have to know when we’re most creative, where we are most creative. We have to have that structure so that we can set those boundaries, and we can celebrate the big wins and the milestones in our business. We have to be willing to try new things, even when they’re scary, even when there’s fear attached. And we have to be willing to celebrate others because we aren’t the only things that exist. We are not starting over. This blip in the road, when we can finally look back on it, is just that: a blip in the road. If everything that has happened to you has actually happened for you, what would your next steps be?
19:33
Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode. Again, shout out to the Inner Circle community members. Thank you, guys, so much for being a part of the Inner Circle community. If you want to join them, please pop over to bossgirlcreative.com/InnerCircle to be a part of that. I will be back next week with another episode of the Boss Girl Creative podcast. Until then, I hope you have a great rest of your week.
